1 00:00:38,747 --> 00:00:41,541 [classical Indian flute music playing] 2 00:01:00,685 --> 00:01:03,146 [filter whirring] 3 00:01:05,648 --> 00:01:08,234 [door creaks quietly] 4 00:01:23,208 --> 00:01:24,459 [snoring] 5 00:01:34,427 --> 00:01:37,180 [door creaks quietly] 6 00:01:59,953 --> 00:02:02,163 [refrigerator rattles] 7 00:02:10,088 --> 00:02:11,881 [ragged breaths] 8 00:02:13,758 --> 00:02:16,594 [soft gasps] 9 00:02:22,142 --> 00:02:23,226 [gulps] 10 00:02:37,365 --> 00:02:39,868 ["Locomotive Breath" by Jethro Tull] 11 00:02:46,958 --> 00:02:50,044 ♪ In the shuffling madness ♪ 12 00:02:50,545 --> 00:02:53,089 ♪ Of the locomotive breath ♪ 13 00:02:54,716 --> 00:02:58,219 ♪ Runs the all-time loser ♪ 14 00:02:58,303 --> 00:03:01,222 ♪ Headlong to his death ♪ 15 00:03:01,306 --> 00:03:05,143 ♪ Oh, he feels the piston scraping ♪ 16 00:03:05,226 --> 00:03:09,147 ♪ Steam breaking on his brow ♪ 17 00:03:09,230 --> 00:03:12,984 ♪ Old Charlie stole the handle ♪ 18 00:03:13,067 --> 00:03:18,573 ♪ And the train, it won't stop going No way to slow down ♪ 19 00:03:20,074 --> 00:03:22,243 ♪ Oh-oh! ♪ 20 00:03:25,830 --> 00:03:28,166 ♪ He sees his children jumping off ♪ 21 00:03:29,083 --> 00:03:31,502 ♪ At stations one by one ♪ 22 00:03:32,921 --> 00:03:36,507 ♪ His woman and his best friend ♪ 23 00:03:36,591 --> 00:03:39,510 ♪ In bed and having fun ♪ 24 00:03:39,594 --> 00:03:43,431 ♪ Oh, he's crawling down the corridor ♪ 25 00:03:44,182 --> 00:03:46,935 ♪ On his hands and knees ♪ 26 00:03:47,602 --> 00:03:50,563 ♪ Old Charlie stole the handle ♪ 27 00:03:51,606 --> 00:03:54,317 ♪ And the train, it won't stop going ♪ 28 00:03:54,400 --> 00:03:56,527 ♪ No way to slow down ♪ 29 00:03:57,987 --> 00:04:00,740 ♪ Yeah-eah! ♪ 30 00:04:06,246 --> 00:04:07,121 ♪ Ow! ♪ 31 00:04:07,205 --> 00:04:09,165 [microphone feedback] 32 00:04:09,249 --> 00:04:12,460 [man] Testing, testing. Mic testing. 33 00:04:13,336 --> 00:04:16,464 Check, one, two, one, two. Testing. 34 00:04:16,547 --> 00:04:20,718 Topping the preliminary round with 29 out of 30... 35 00:04:21,970 --> 00:04:26,933 Bangalore Uni A, represented by Naman Bala... 36 00:04:28,101 --> 00:04:30,103 Ramu Iyengar... 37 00:04:30,937 --> 00:04:32,647 Ilash Ismail... 38 00:04:32,730 --> 00:04:34,565 -Where's Ilash? -[knocking] 39 00:04:34,649 --> 00:04:37,652 -[announcer] ...and Ajay Iyer. -Ajay. 40 00:04:39,112 --> 00:04:42,991 Will the team captain please come up for the draw of lots? 41 00:04:43,074 --> 00:04:45,410 [all mutter] B.U.B.U. 42 00:04:45,493 --> 00:04:47,203 [announcer] Team captain? 43 00:04:48,204 --> 00:04:49,372 [announcer] Hmm... 44 00:04:50,248 --> 00:04:53,793 Bangalore Uni A team has finally arrived. 45 00:04:54,919 --> 00:05:00,466 In the words of Shakespeare, better three hours too soon than a minute too late. 46 00:05:01,175 --> 00:05:04,053 You will have to sit in row six. 47 00:05:04,137 --> 00:05:08,850 We should have come for the draft lots. Row six is the worst strategically. 48 00:05:09,600 --> 00:05:13,187 Who cares where we sit? We'll win anyway. 49 00:05:13,271 --> 00:05:16,399 We have worse problems. Ilash is in Hyderabad. 50 00:05:16,482 --> 00:05:17,942 [girl] Good luck, Naman! 51 00:05:18,860 --> 00:05:21,487 There's your pet volcano, Stromboli. 52 00:05:21,571 --> 00:05:23,906 Go rape your cow, Ra-moo. 53 00:05:23,990 --> 00:05:27,535 Come on, ra. Give her Etna a chance. 54 00:05:27,618 --> 00:05:30,788 Yeah, cover the face, fire the base. 55 00:05:30,872 --> 00:05:33,082 [announcer] Are all the teams complete? 56 00:05:39,630 --> 00:05:42,300 I have been preparing. I'll be very helpful, I promise. 57 00:05:42,383 --> 00:05:45,678 Just keep your mouth shut and we'll win, okay? 58 00:05:45,762 --> 00:05:48,973 -[applause] -[announcer] Bangalore Uni B. 59 00:05:49,057 --> 00:05:50,808 Back in the 18th century, 60 00:05:50,892 --> 00:05:56,230 Eton College had a grammar book which listed a set of words from Latin 61 00:05:56,314 --> 00:05:59,567 which all meant "of little or no value." 62 00:05:59,650 --> 00:06:04,155 As a joke, somebody put all four of these together and created a new word. 63 00:06:04,238 --> 00:06:10,578 The first recorded use is by William Shenstone in 1741. 64 00:06:10,661 --> 00:06:12,163 What is the word? 65 00:06:13,372 --> 00:06:15,833 Looks like our juniors have Calcutta ambitions. 66 00:06:16,626 --> 00:06:20,588 Why go all the way to Calcutta when the Black Hole of Bangalore is right here? 67 00:06:20,671 --> 00:06:22,173 Time is running out! 68 00:06:22,924 --> 00:06:26,594 The answer is floccinaucinihilipilification. 69 00:06:27,553 --> 00:06:29,263 [announcer] Correct answer. 70 00:06:29,347 --> 00:06:31,891 Bangalore B are the leaders now. 71 00:06:33,184 --> 00:06:37,814 And now for the ultimate question to decide the winner. 72 00:06:38,648 --> 00:06:44,362 Gerald Rusgrove and Charles founded a publishing house in 1908. 73 00:06:44,445 --> 00:06:47,990 Today they dominate a particular genre. 74 00:06:48,074 --> 00:06:53,162 The company is named after their famous surname. Name the company. 75 00:06:53,996 --> 00:06:56,332 -Simon and Schuster? -Hodder and Stoughton? 76 00:06:56,415 --> 00:06:59,502 They don't dominate any particular genre. 77 00:07:02,088 --> 00:07:06,342 Bangalore University A, do we have an answer? 78 00:07:06,425 --> 00:07:07,552 [indistinct whisper] 79 00:07:09,303 --> 00:07:11,347 Is it Mills and Boon? Romance? 80 00:07:12,265 --> 00:07:14,225 [announcer] It is... 81 00:07:17,603 --> 00:07:18,771 indeed! 82 00:07:18,855 --> 00:07:20,898 [cheering] 83 00:07:20,982 --> 00:07:26,821 [announcer] Bangalore Uni A are the winners of this quiz contest, 84 00:07:26,904 --> 00:07:32,285 and will represent us at the All India Quiz Competition in Calcutta. 85 00:07:32,368 --> 00:07:34,162 -[applause] -Thank you. 86 00:07:41,043 --> 00:07:43,796 -Naman. -We won book coupons worth 750 rupees. 87 00:07:43,880 --> 00:07:45,256 That's your share. 88 00:07:45,339 --> 00:07:49,552 No, that's not necessary. It was my honor to be in the quiz with you. 89 00:07:53,264 --> 00:07:55,475 I insist. After all-- 90 00:07:55,558 --> 00:07:59,520 Listen, Ash, we have 500 worth of book coupons between the three of us. 91 00:07:59,604 --> 00:08:02,899 We'll sell it to you at the usual discount. 300? 92 00:08:02,982 --> 00:08:05,318 Done. But on one condition. 93 00:08:05,401 --> 00:08:07,653 I get to come with you guys wherever you are drinking tonight. 94 00:08:07,737 --> 00:08:10,448 Forget it. We'll find somebody else. 95 00:08:10,531 --> 00:08:11,949 No, no, no, no, no. 96 00:08:12,700 --> 00:08:15,077 I always keep cash handy for your coupons. 97 00:08:26,714 --> 00:08:27,715 Bye. 98 00:08:30,218 --> 00:08:32,094 [motorbike horn] 99 00:08:34,805 --> 00:08:37,141 Sure you don't want a lift to the dhaba? 100 00:08:37,225 --> 00:08:39,477 -Ajay isn't dead. -Yet. 101 00:08:47,735 --> 00:08:49,445 Hey, you, junior! 102 00:08:57,119 --> 00:08:58,371 What's your name? 103 00:09:00,414 --> 00:09:02,792 -Randeep. -Randy! 104 00:09:02,875 --> 00:09:04,460 [pop music plays] 105 00:09:09,632 --> 00:09:12,802 I, uh... I don't really drink. 106 00:09:12,885 --> 00:09:15,179 Nonsense. Everybody drinks. 107 00:09:15,263 --> 00:09:16,722 [Naman] It's like fucking. 108 00:09:16,806 --> 00:09:18,891 Once your dick is inside the hole, 109 00:09:18,975 --> 00:09:22,228 it goes all the way up to the cervix, prompting the inevitable-- 110 00:09:22,311 --> 00:09:23,646 Cervix with a smile. 111 00:09:27,191 --> 00:09:29,777 [all] Chairs! 112 00:09:32,822 --> 00:09:36,033 -Bangalore University, bottoms up. -B.U.B.U. 113 00:09:37,118 --> 00:09:38,244 Go! 114 00:09:43,749 --> 00:09:46,794 -Naman seven secs, Ajay nine secs. -And Randy, no sex. 115 00:09:47,628 --> 00:09:50,089 -Bravo. -Garçon. 116 00:09:54,135 --> 00:09:55,386 [man murmurs indistinctly] 117 00:09:56,762 --> 00:09:59,390 What ra, dei? That would have bought an extra pitcher. 118 00:09:59,473 --> 00:10:01,976 Brahmans must be magnanimous to the servant classes 119 00:10:02,059 --> 00:10:04,729 -to preserve the natural order of things. -[Ajay] Correct. 120 00:10:04,812 --> 00:10:07,273 If everybody gets degrees, who will clean our toilets? 121 00:10:07,356 --> 00:10:10,610 In our village, even if an untouchable's shadow touches my grandfather, 122 00:10:10,693 --> 00:10:12,194 he has to have a bath. 123 00:10:13,696 --> 00:10:14,780 The boy speaks. 124 00:10:18,951 --> 00:10:22,288 Trichinopolies. As smoked by Sherlock Holmes. 125 00:10:25,583 --> 00:10:27,918 OK, guys, I have to leave. My father will be waiting. 126 00:10:28,002 --> 00:10:31,964 Ever wondered why the back of Ramu's neck is black? 127 00:10:32,048 --> 00:10:36,552 When Ramu was born, his father rubbed his dick on the back of his neck. 128 00:10:36,636 --> 00:10:39,013 -[Ramu mutters] -[boys laugh] 129 00:10:44,268 --> 00:10:49,023 Randy. If you continue to be this correct blend of slavish deference 130 00:10:49,106 --> 00:10:53,194 and obsequiousness to God, i.e. me, 131 00:10:53,277 --> 00:10:56,238 who knows, someday you could be our quiz team fourth. 132 00:10:58,074 --> 00:11:03,371 -But I'm in Tina's team-- -Tina, Beena? Who cares? All cunts. 133 00:11:04,413 --> 00:11:07,124 Stay second all your life, by all means. 134 00:11:07,833 --> 00:11:08,959 It's your choice. 135 00:11:11,712 --> 00:11:12,880 Well? 136 00:11:22,264 --> 00:11:24,141 [coughs] 137 00:11:27,645 --> 00:11:29,438 -He's done a George. -Horses for courses. 138 00:11:29,522 --> 00:11:30,523 Neigh! 139 00:11:34,527 --> 00:11:37,613 You won't be allowed into Valhalla if you don't know the argot. 140 00:11:39,073 --> 00:11:41,450 I'll give you a clue. Painter. 141 00:11:41,534 --> 00:11:45,454 John Stubbs. British painter best known for his paintings of horses. 142 00:11:45,538 --> 00:11:49,667 So when you "do a George," you stub out a cigar. 143 00:11:51,419 --> 00:11:54,046 May the horse be with you. 144 00:12:03,681 --> 00:12:06,767 A beaker full of the warm south for the lad here. 145 00:12:06,851 --> 00:12:09,145 -[Randy retches] -[Naman and Ajay urinating] 146 00:12:09,228 --> 00:12:11,939 But you're not allowed to vomit on the tree. 147 00:12:13,691 --> 00:12:20,531 But if you must, precision is key, oh dilated pupil. 148 00:12:20,614 --> 00:12:22,450 [man reads question] 149 00:12:29,039 --> 00:12:31,834 [chanting Sanskrit mantras] 150 00:13:03,032 --> 00:13:09,580 [Naman's father] As it says in the holy Gita, "tranquility, restraint, 151 00:13:09,663 --> 00:13:15,961 austerity, purity, forgiveness, uprightness... 152 00:13:16,795 --> 00:13:20,925 knowledge, wisdom and faith in God 153 00:13:21,008 --> 00:13:23,135 are the duties of the Brahmans... 154 00:13:24,345 --> 00:13:26,472 born of our innate nature." 155 00:13:28,224 --> 00:13:30,809 [Naman's father chants] 156 00:13:32,561 --> 00:13:34,396 [Naman joins in] 157 00:13:40,444 --> 00:13:42,613 [chanting] 158 00:13:51,497 --> 00:13:53,249 [bell jingling] 159 00:14:03,551 --> 00:14:04,552 Naman. 160 00:14:19,358 --> 00:14:21,735 [applause] 161 00:14:28,367 --> 00:14:30,995 ["Alabama Song (Whiskey Bar)"] 162 00:14:50,014 --> 00:14:52,474 I feel like a new hermaphrodite again. 163 00:14:52,558 --> 00:14:58,063 ♪ Well, show me the way to the next whiskey bar ♪ 164 00:14:58,147 --> 00:15:00,900 ♪ Oh, don't ask why ♪ 165 00:15:00,983 --> 00:15:03,819 ♪ Oh, don't ask why ♪ 166 00:15:03,903 --> 00:15:09,408 ♪ Show me the way to the next whiskey bar ♪ 167 00:15:09,491 --> 00:15:12,286 ♪ Oh, don't ask why ♪ 168 00:15:12,369 --> 00:15:15,164 ♪ Oh, don't ask why ♪ 169 00:15:15,247 --> 00:15:20,419 ♪ For if we don't find the next whiskey bar ♪ 170 00:15:20,502 --> 00:15:23,088 ♪ I tell you we must die ♪ 171 00:15:23,172 --> 00:15:25,883 ♪ I tell you we must die ♪ 172 00:15:25,966 --> 00:15:31,263 ♪ I tell you, I tell you, I tell you we must die ♪ 173 00:15:32,181 --> 00:15:34,224 [TV plays quietly] 174 00:15:38,103 --> 00:15:40,272 [applause on TV] 175 00:15:40,356 --> 00:15:43,567 [man] Welcome back to Cos Theta Quiz Contest. 176 00:15:43,651 --> 00:15:46,987 I am Brian D'Costa, and my next question is... 177 00:15:47,988 --> 00:15:49,990 [Brian reads question] 178 00:15:59,750 --> 00:16:02,211 I'm ready to marry her for a week. 179 00:16:09,885 --> 00:16:12,763 Aureolae, my friend. 180 00:16:13,889 --> 00:16:15,891 God is in the aureolae. 181 00:16:16,934 --> 00:16:18,602 [car horn] 182 00:16:21,313 --> 00:16:23,857 ♪ I'm Henry VIII, I am ♪ 183 00:16:23,941 --> 00:16:26,443 ♪ Henry VIII, I am, I am ♪ 184 00:16:26,527 --> 00:16:29,196 ♪ I got married to the widow next door ♪ 185 00:16:29,279 --> 00:16:31,448 ♪ And she's been married seven times before ♪ 186 00:16:31,532 --> 00:16:33,659 -[all] Henry! -Waste fuckers. 187 00:16:33,742 --> 00:16:36,203 What ra cripple? Bull broke your leg? 188 00:16:36,286 --> 00:16:38,580 [laughter] 189 00:16:38,664 --> 00:16:39,665 Hey! 190 00:16:39,748 --> 00:16:41,667 -Show me that. -I'm having her tonight. 191 00:16:41,750 --> 00:16:43,919 Why don't we all go and look at it at my place? 192 00:16:44,003 --> 00:16:46,338 No, no, no, no. No. No. 193 00:16:46,422 --> 00:16:47,965 We have to prepare for tomorrow's quiz. 194 00:16:52,803 --> 00:16:55,097 -[Naman] Henry. -A trick. 195 00:16:55,973 --> 00:16:58,767 When you've finished, let go of your dick when you cum. 196 00:17:00,227 --> 00:17:06,525 Cover your face, then you watch your dick. Like an electric meter, it will flick. 197 00:17:06,608 --> 00:17:09,194 [he makes a clicking sound] 198 00:17:09,778 --> 00:17:11,030 [chuckles] 199 00:17:11,113 --> 00:17:14,533 What ra, Naman? We all could have magazined at Henry's house. 200 00:17:14,616 --> 00:17:17,619 -[Naman] His sofa is full of cum. -[giggling] 201 00:17:21,874 --> 00:17:23,250 Oh, no. 202 00:17:23,333 --> 00:17:26,712 -["Infatuation" by Rod Stewart plays] -♪ Oh, no, not again ♪ 203 00:17:27,713 --> 00:17:31,550 ♪ It hurts so good I don't understand ♪ 204 00:17:31,633 --> 00:17:33,594 ♪ Infatuation ♪ 205 00:17:36,472 --> 00:17:38,432 ♪ Infatuation ♪ 206 00:17:40,476 --> 00:17:42,561 -♪ Infatuation ♪ -[no audible dialogue] 207 00:17:44,897 --> 00:17:46,648 ♪ Infatuation ♪ 208 00:17:49,568 --> 00:17:51,820 -[music stops] -♪ Infatuation ♪ 209 00:17:52,946 --> 00:17:55,282 -♪ Infatuation ♪ -Chee chee, Ramu. 210 00:17:56,325 --> 00:17:59,620 -[Ajay] Nice arse. -You will not, none of you, 211 00:17:59,703 --> 00:18:03,165 refer to your future sister-in-law in a sexual manner ever again. 212 00:18:03,248 --> 00:18:05,000 Ramu! Understood? 213 00:18:07,252 --> 00:18:08,837 [snickering] 214 00:18:13,425 --> 00:18:14,843 [snoring] 215 00:18:24,770 --> 00:18:26,522 [funky music] 216 00:18:47,334 --> 00:18:48,794 [woman moans] 217 00:19:32,337 --> 00:19:33,922 [knocking on door] 218 00:19:34,506 --> 00:19:36,175 [Naman's mother] Naman? 219 00:19:51,315 --> 00:19:53,775 [fan speeds up] 220 00:19:56,904 --> 00:19:58,864 [screams] 221 00:19:58,947 --> 00:20:00,866 [screams continue] 222 00:20:00,949 --> 00:20:02,743 [bell tolls] 223 00:20:02,826 --> 00:20:06,121 You must be wondering what The Merchant of Venice has to do with Hamlet. 224 00:20:06,205 --> 00:20:10,375 You see, this Polonius is a dirty fellow. 225 00:20:10,459 --> 00:20:12,085 Very shallow. 226 00:20:12,169 --> 00:20:16,006 What he doesn't know is that is if he spits into the air... pooo! 227 00:20:21,929 --> 00:20:23,847 Hey, maths motherfucker. 228 00:20:26,266 --> 00:20:28,352 To what do we owe this dubious honor? 229 00:20:28,435 --> 00:20:32,731 I was in the vicinity, so I thought I'd come see if you're around. 230 00:20:32,814 --> 00:20:38,028 Now that you have drunk your ocular fill, wench, a swift departure mayhaps. 231 00:20:38,111 --> 00:20:40,822 Miles to go? Promises to keep? 232 00:20:40,906 --> 00:20:43,700 -[Ash] But I... -So, handicap. 233 00:20:43,784 --> 00:20:47,496 -[Ash] Ilash. -Who came second in the quiz? 234 00:20:47,579 --> 00:20:49,456 -The junior team. -Oh... 235 00:20:49,539 --> 00:20:52,251 Let me tell you what happened to my junior. 236 00:20:52,334 --> 00:20:57,005 I was coming back from Hyderabad on a train, AC first class, of course, 237 00:20:57,089 --> 00:21:00,425 and there she was, on the lower berth. 238 00:21:00,509 --> 00:21:03,929 It was lights out, so I put my reading lights on 239 00:21:04,012 --> 00:21:09,434 and I looked down through the curtains and she is staring straight back at me. 240 00:21:11,436 --> 00:21:14,398 So I pull back, I'm reading my book. 241 00:21:15,190 --> 00:21:16,984 She climbs up... 242 00:21:17,818 --> 00:21:22,364 and she's... all over me, OK? 243 00:21:24,491 --> 00:21:26,910 She's rubbing. 244 00:21:28,662 --> 00:21:31,206 She's rubbing herself. 245 00:21:32,332 --> 00:21:34,543 [up-tempo dance music plays] 246 00:21:51,435 --> 00:21:53,645 Where has that fellow gone? 247 00:21:53,729 --> 00:21:56,690 I'm sure he's taken our ticket money and run. 248 00:21:56,773 --> 00:21:58,692 [man] Have faith, grasshopper. 249 00:21:58,775 --> 00:22:00,152 There he is. 250 00:22:13,749 --> 00:22:14,750 Thank you, uncle. 251 00:22:14,833 --> 00:22:16,752 Your seats are right next to mine. 252 00:22:20,505 --> 00:22:22,090 I feel violated. 253 00:22:24,843 --> 00:22:26,511 Isn't there a law against visual rape? 254 00:22:26,595 --> 00:22:29,598 In that case, we would all be doing ten to 20. 255 00:22:33,101 --> 00:22:36,688 -[up-tempo music playing] -[women gasping] 256 00:22:57,334 --> 00:22:58,376 Ramu. 257 00:23:02,964 --> 00:23:04,132 Appa. 258 00:23:04,216 --> 00:23:05,425 Get in. 259 00:23:14,851 --> 00:23:19,064 You have to do everything possible to endear us of Ramu's dad, don't you? 260 00:23:30,492 --> 00:23:32,035 [slow music plays] 261 00:23:35,831 --> 00:23:40,710 "My love is like a red, red rose that is newly sprung in June. 262 00:23:41,336 --> 00:23:44,381 My love is like a melody that is sweetly played in tune." 263 00:23:45,173 --> 00:23:46,633 To the chariot! 264 00:23:47,384 --> 00:23:48,385 [engine starts] 265 00:23:50,929 --> 00:23:53,598 -What am I supposed to do? -Exist. 266 00:23:59,104 --> 00:24:01,982 [indistinct chatter] 267 00:24:34,764 --> 00:24:37,726 -[Ajay] D'Souza, she's not a Brahman. -[Naman] So? 268 00:24:37,809 --> 00:24:40,729 -[Ajay] She's not even a Hindu. -So? 269 00:24:40,812 --> 00:24:42,314 She's a Christian, ra. 270 00:24:43,231 --> 00:24:46,526 In Brahman tradition, one would conjoin with the servant classes 271 00:24:46,610 --> 00:24:49,487 in order to transfer our sins to them, because they are fucked anyway. 272 00:24:49,571 --> 00:24:51,156 [Ajay] Justification. 273 00:24:52,032 --> 00:24:55,452 You know how the Jesuits forcibly converted most of us to Christianity? 274 00:24:55,535 --> 00:24:58,705 -Her grandparents are probably Brahman. -Justification. 275 00:24:59,581 --> 00:25:01,791 [Naman] The scriptures say that the role of a Brahman 276 00:25:01,875 --> 00:25:04,044 is to uplift the downtrodden classes. 277 00:25:04,127 --> 00:25:06,379 Miss D'Souza will be my project. 278 00:25:06,463 --> 00:25:08,173 Infatuation. 279 00:25:10,592 --> 00:25:12,802 [mid-tempo music plays on radio] 280 00:25:16,473 --> 00:25:20,268 Dear Rita, shall I compare thee to a summer's day? 281 00:25:20,352 --> 00:25:22,312 But then I'm not the Bard. 282 00:25:22,395 --> 00:25:26,524 Interestingly, did you know that Colonel Gaddafi of Libya 283 00:25:26,608 --> 00:25:29,402 claimed that William Shakespeare was actually a Muslim Libyan 284 00:25:29,486 --> 00:25:31,112 named Wali Miya Sheikh Zubair. 285 00:25:33,865 --> 00:25:37,953 There is also loose talk that a certain Sheshappa Iyer, a Brahman from Mysore, 286 00:25:38,036 --> 00:25:40,413 went to England and authored the plays. 287 00:25:42,791 --> 00:25:44,501 But enough of Avon. 288 00:25:44,584 --> 00:25:50,090 The Butler, in his immortal piece of poesy titled, rather appropriately, 289 00:25:50,173 --> 00:25:52,425 A Drinking Song, he quoth... 290 00:25:55,178 --> 00:25:56,930 Thank you, Father. 291 00:26:04,271 --> 00:26:05,272 Thank you, Mother. 292 00:26:06,231 --> 00:26:08,233 [Brian reads question] 293 00:26:13,738 --> 00:26:17,450 [Naman] D'Souza, P... D'Souza, P... 294 00:26:17,534 --> 00:26:19,494 ♪ Hello, operator ♪ 295 00:26:19,577 --> 00:26:23,164 ♪ You know that I've been waiting on this call, da, da, da ♪ 296 00:26:23,248 --> 00:26:25,750 -♪ I said hey, operator... ♪ -[Naman] Bingo! 297 00:26:27,002 --> 00:26:30,338 ♪ You make me nervous cos the line's engaged ♪ 298 00:26:30,422 --> 00:26:33,383 ♪ I can't believe we let it get to this stage ♪ 299 00:26:33,466 --> 00:26:35,552 -♪ Sitting here-- ♪ -Shh! Shh! Shh! 300 00:26:36,303 --> 00:26:37,721 Hello. Hi, Rita. 301 00:26:37,804 --> 00:26:39,889 [man] Rita, Gita or Sita... 302 00:26:39,973 --> 00:26:43,935 You boys are just going to... beat-a your meat-a. 303 00:26:44,769 --> 00:26:47,397 [heroic music] 304 00:26:47,480 --> 00:26:50,650 [people chanting] Ronnie! Ronnie! Ronnie! Ronnie! 305 00:26:54,529 --> 00:26:56,781 Devastating wit. I'm impressed. 306 00:26:56,865 --> 00:27:01,202 Smart boy. But while you guys were busy polishing your pathetic one-liners, 307 00:27:01,286 --> 00:27:05,123 -we just won the cricket championship. -Let joy be unconfined. 308 00:27:05,206 --> 00:27:07,584 Tell me one physical activity that you guys can do better than us. 309 00:27:07,667 --> 00:27:10,086 -Consume alcohol. -In industrial quantities. 310 00:27:10,170 --> 00:27:11,588 [laughter] 311 00:27:11,671 --> 00:27:13,631 -Done. It's a challenge. -A royal challenge? 312 00:27:14,924 --> 00:27:16,968 Tomorrow at home, our victory party. 313 00:27:17,052 --> 00:27:20,472 Get yourselves to Sadashivnagar and ask anyone for Palace Tower. 314 00:27:20,555 --> 00:27:23,433 -Then see whose is bigger. -We don't go for half measures. 315 00:27:23,516 --> 00:27:26,478 Ronnie, I'm hungry. 316 00:27:26,561 --> 00:27:28,104 Burger? 317 00:27:35,195 --> 00:27:38,073 -I can't believe we get the brains-- -And they get the girls. 318 00:27:38,156 --> 00:27:41,743 That too, Coco-panties herself. 319 00:27:41,826 --> 00:27:44,829 Many a boat has sailed up that coconut lagoon. 320 00:27:44,913 --> 00:27:47,791 [euphoric music] 321 00:28:01,638 --> 00:28:04,391 -[laughter] -[guitar music playing] 322 00:28:05,392 --> 00:28:06,935 Rich bastard. 323 00:28:08,853 --> 00:28:13,149 Ramu, "a man of wealth has many enemies, 324 00:28:13,233 --> 00:28:15,860 while a man of knowledge has many friends." 325 00:28:27,872 --> 00:28:30,125 [Ronnie] Oh-ho-ho-ho! 326 00:28:30,208 --> 00:28:34,796 So kind of you all to drag yourselves away from your busy schedules. 327 00:28:34,879 --> 00:28:36,256 Must have been a drag. 328 00:28:37,257 --> 00:28:39,092 Ever used one of these babies before? 329 00:28:39,175 --> 00:28:42,470 -You have overcompensation issues. -So you don't know how to use it? 330 00:28:42,554 --> 00:28:44,431 Just pose. 331 00:28:44,514 --> 00:28:45,974 Girls... 332 00:28:51,312 --> 00:28:54,774 So what do you think of the old pad? Pretty impressive, huh? 333 00:28:55,692 --> 00:28:58,903 -Very Las Vegas. -Dad's favorite city. We go every year. 334 00:28:58,987 --> 00:29:01,573 And where do you go for your hols, big boy? 335 00:29:02,949 --> 00:29:06,077 I must inform you that we have an excellent bovine maintenance-- 336 00:29:06,161 --> 00:29:09,873 A cow farm? Ramu goes to a cow farm! 337 00:29:09,956 --> 00:29:12,584 I also heard you rape your cows. 338 00:29:12,667 --> 00:29:14,502 That's our joke. 339 00:29:14,586 --> 00:29:17,922 [Ronnie] Here, have a drink. Better than your normal swill, I'm sure. 340 00:29:19,340 --> 00:29:21,843 -B.U.B.U. -What else? 341 00:29:25,889 --> 00:29:28,892 Do you do everything so fast? 342 00:29:28,975 --> 00:29:31,227 He wouldn't know, baby. He's never done it. 343 00:29:32,896 --> 00:29:34,355 Those who can't drink should not throw stones. 344 00:29:34,439 --> 00:29:37,066 OK, bugger, put your mouth where the bottle is. 345 00:29:40,820 --> 00:29:42,947 Praemonitus, praemunitus. 346 00:29:43,031 --> 00:29:44,657 -Huh? -Forewarned is forearmed. 347 00:29:44,741 --> 00:29:48,453 Treatises of Fistula, circa 1425, J. Arderne. 348 00:29:48,536 --> 00:29:52,207 -Also Don Quixote's Cervantes-- -Just shut up and drink, quiz fucks. 349 00:29:52,290 --> 00:29:54,626 [dance music playing] 350 00:30:06,387 --> 00:30:07,722 Drinks, I say! 351 00:30:15,688 --> 00:30:17,690 [record scratching] 352 00:30:20,235 --> 00:30:21,236 [music stops] 353 00:30:22,237 --> 00:30:23,571 I think my father is calling me. 354 00:30:23,655 --> 00:30:26,115 [snores] 355 00:30:35,625 --> 00:30:36,626 [Ajay] Look what I found. 356 00:30:37,919 --> 00:30:39,796 Naman takes the bottle... 357 00:30:40,964 --> 00:30:43,466 uncorks it... 358 00:30:44,467 --> 00:30:47,053 and sniffs it deeply. 359 00:30:49,347 --> 00:30:53,184 A deep, rich and complex nose. 360 00:30:53,726 --> 00:30:55,728 [sniffs] 361 00:30:55,812 --> 00:30:57,814 -Dry orange peel. -Mmm. 362 00:30:58,940 --> 00:31:00,525 Espresso. 363 00:31:01,192 --> 00:31:04,863 And incandescent notes of Gruyère and smoked Parma ham. 364 00:31:04,946 --> 00:31:06,823 But you're vegetarian. 365 00:31:12,328 --> 00:31:14,998 I'm married. So... 366 00:31:16,916 --> 00:31:20,128 -You flick, I'll click. -OK! 367 00:31:27,343 --> 00:31:28,720 I can't do it. 368 00:31:31,931 --> 00:31:34,726 -It's the fault of our caste. -[burps] 369 00:31:34,809 --> 00:31:36,561 Why are we Brahmans so conservative? 370 00:31:37,562 --> 00:31:41,316 Oh, for a bit of Labour in these Tory times! 371 00:31:42,066 --> 00:31:44,402 Such a waste! 372 00:31:48,656 --> 00:31:53,328 There is, however, another course of action. 373 00:31:59,751 --> 00:32:02,921 -[laughter] -[camera clicking] 374 00:32:03,838 --> 00:32:05,131 [bell tolls] 375 00:32:09,010 --> 00:32:09,969 So! 376 00:32:10,595 --> 00:32:13,723 -Back again from Hyderabad? -On a plane. 377 00:32:14,474 --> 00:32:16,267 Business class, of course. 378 00:32:16,351 --> 00:32:19,938 There was this, uh... mwah! ...girl next to me. 379 00:32:20,021 --> 00:32:23,524 -So you started feeling her up. -Why didn't you fuck? 380 00:32:24,651 --> 00:32:26,110 Who said I didn't? 381 00:32:26,861 --> 00:32:28,488 There was this toilet. 382 00:32:28,571 --> 00:32:31,407 -And you joined the mile-high club. -Coffee, tea or me? 383 00:32:31,491 --> 00:32:34,452 The uninhibited memoirs of two airline stewardesses. 384 00:32:34,535 --> 00:32:36,079 -Rachel Jones. -Trudy Baker. 385 00:32:36,162 --> 00:32:40,291 No, no, I used a Pleasure Sutra condom. 386 00:32:42,168 --> 00:32:44,337 -God promise. -[school bell rings] 387 00:32:49,467 --> 00:32:53,179 Wow, you guys are actually attending class. 388 00:32:54,514 --> 00:32:57,934 -It's Wednesday. -Coco-panties day. 389 00:32:58,017 --> 00:33:00,645 What is the color of the color TV? 390 00:33:00,728 --> 00:33:03,773 [humming indistinctly] 391 00:33:03,856 --> 00:33:06,234 [all harmonizing] 392 00:33:09,112 --> 00:33:11,447 [old-timey song plays] 393 00:33:17,912 --> 00:33:19,205 [indistinct chatter] 394 00:33:33,761 --> 00:33:35,763 I say white. 395 00:33:35,847 --> 00:33:38,307 I'm a dirty fellow, so I would say yellow. 396 00:33:38,391 --> 00:33:41,436 -Pink. Think pink. -Red. 397 00:33:50,528 --> 00:33:54,490 Class. Today, that sonnet without equal. The esteemed... 398 00:33:54,574 --> 00:33:57,535 "Shall I compare thee to a summer's day? 399 00:33:57,618 --> 00:34:01,247 Thou art more lovely and more temperate. 400 00:34:01,330 --> 00:34:04,625 Rough winds do shake the darling buds of May, 401 00:34:04,709 --> 00:34:08,379 and summer's lease hath all too short a date." 402 00:34:08,463 --> 00:34:12,550 And your lease will also expire shortly if you don't stop that infernal giggling. 403 00:34:14,177 --> 00:34:17,597 In that case, my darling buds of May, kindly pollinate away. 404 00:34:18,890 --> 00:34:22,602 This is a first. Ronnie wanting to contribute to a class. 405 00:34:22,685 --> 00:34:25,021 -Speak! -Or forever hold your piss. 406 00:34:25,104 --> 00:34:27,148 Quiz team, out now. 407 00:34:27,231 --> 00:34:32,653 Sir, by "pollinate away," are you asking the girls to eff off? 408 00:34:32,737 --> 00:34:34,489 Your private tuitions are helping. 409 00:34:35,907 --> 00:34:38,451 "Exit stage right, pursued by bear." 410 00:34:38,534 --> 00:34:40,953 [girl] Looks like the cricket team comes in a package deal. 411 00:34:41,037 --> 00:34:43,122 Good things come in big packages. 412 00:34:43,206 --> 00:34:44,082 [laughter] 413 00:34:44,165 --> 00:34:47,460 You can touch my silly point with your fine leg any time. 414 00:34:51,422 --> 00:34:54,550 Your middle stump is very long. 415 00:34:54,634 --> 00:34:57,345 The stitches on your balls seem quite nice. 416 00:35:01,349 --> 00:35:04,477 I'm sure you had something to do with this. Thanks. 417 00:35:04,560 --> 00:35:07,480 Oh, and uh, enjoy your pocket billiards. 418 00:35:17,031 --> 00:35:18,699 Fucking lounge lizards. 419 00:35:18,825 --> 00:35:21,744 [up-tempo drums] 420 00:35:21,828 --> 00:35:24,997 [men chanting] ♪ Oh, you asshole ♪ 421 00:35:25,081 --> 00:35:28,668 ♪ Completely loathsome pain in the bum ♪ 422 00:35:28,751 --> 00:35:32,255 [indistinct chanting] 423 00:35:32,338 --> 00:35:35,716 ♪ Brahman Naman Fuck you up ♪ 424 00:35:37,176 --> 00:35:40,221 Enough is enough. Let's call Henry. 425 00:35:40,972 --> 00:35:42,890 [car horn] 426 00:35:44,976 --> 00:35:46,644 [honking] 427 00:35:47,061 --> 00:35:49,021 Coming, coming! 428 00:35:50,815 --> 00:35:51,941 Coming. 429 00:35:53,151 --> 00:35:55,069 "Coming, coming." 430 00:35:55,153 --> 00:35:57,530 Save some cum for the bitches! [laughs] 431 00:35:57,613 --> 00:36:00,074 A man and his cum are soon parted. 432 00:36:01,075 --> 00:36:04,203 Something to get us in the mood. 433 00:36:04,287 --> 00:36:06,038 What mood? 434 00:36:06,122 --> 00:36:10,168 All you need is a hooker and a hard-on. 435 00:36:10,251 --> 00:36:11,627 [Henry laughs] 436 00:36:11,711 --> 00:36:14,213 ["Alabama Song (Whiskey Bar)"] 437 00:36:14,297 --> 00:36:20,303 ♪ Well, show me the way to the next little girl ♪ 438 00:36:20,386 --> 00:36:23,055 ♪ Oh, don't ask why ♪ 439 00:36:23,139 --> 00:36:25,600 ♪ Oh, don't ask why ♪ 440 00:36:25,683 --> 00:36:30,813 ♪ Just show me the way to the next little girl... ♪ 441 00:36:33,816 --> 00:36:36,235 I always like a starter before the main course. 442 00:36:36,319 --> 00:36:38,279 Best way to start innings. 443 00:36:40,948 --> 00:36:45,119 50 rupees lollipop. 75 rupees mouthwash. 100 rupees full. 444 00:36:45,203 --> 00:36:47,079 Lollipop. Get inside. 445 00:36:52,043 --> 00:36:54,420 No, no, no, stay! 446 00:36:54,503 --> 00:36:57,924 When stadium is full, batsman always performs better. Come on. 447 00:37:02,637 --> 00:37:03,471 [unzips pants] 448 00:37:06,974 --> 00:37:09,101 [Henry chuckles] 449 00:37:25,826 --> 00:37:27,787 [Henry whimpers] 450 00:37:27,870 --> 00:37:30,206 [yells] 451 00:37:31,457 --> 00:37:33,793 Give me 75 rupees, mouthwash. 452 00:37:34,627 --> 00:37:36,379 Fifty-one secs! 453 00:37:54,355 --> 00:37:56,983 Now, your chance. 454 00:37:58,401 --> 00:38:00,152 [rock music plays nearby] 455 00:38:02,530 --> 00:38:05,157 -This is it, boys. -Uh, Henry... 456 00:38:05,241 --> 00:38:08,244 Hey! You Brahman boys have got the guts or no? 457 00:38:08,327 --> 00:38:10,079 Maybe for safety's sake, just a lollipop. 458 00:38:10,162 --> 00:38:12,373 Acquired Immune Deficiency Syndrome and all that. 459 00:38:12,456 --> 00:38:14,083 [groans] 460 00:38:14,166 --> 00:38:17,712 Your money, your choice. Come. 461 00:38:21,632 --> 00:38:22,883 [woman moaning] 462 00:38:29,932 --> 00:38:30,933 Uh... 463 00:38:31,017 --> 00:38:37,356 My friends, uh, they want blowjobs, mouthwash, lollipop. 464 00:38:41,110 --> 00:38:42,820 What friends? Huh? 465 00:38:50,745 --> 00:38:52,580 Uh... Blowjob? 466 00:39:01,339 --> 00:39:02,173 [bleating] 467 00:39:06,886 --> 00:39:08,429 [cow moos] 468 00:39:12,516 --> 00:39:14,393 [man shouts indistinctly] 469 00:39:37,124 --> 00:39:39,168 Did you know that this area was gerrymandered? 470 00:39:39,251 --> 00:39:40,503 Gerry who? 471 00:39:41,212 --> 00:39:43,589 Named after Massachusetts governor Elbridge Gerry, 472 00:39:43,672 --> 00:39:45,299 who manipulated his electoral district 473 00:39:45,383 --> 00:39:47,343 so that the people who voted for him the last time 474 00:39:47,426 --> 00:39:49,303 voted in a block for him the next time. 475 00:39:49,387 --> 00:39:51,472 And cut away the people who did not vote for him, 476 00:39:51,555 --> 00:39:54,558 -and put them into another district. -Correct. 477 00:39:55,059 --> 00:40:00,398 They did the same thing here to prevent the Muslim candidate from winning again, 478 00:40:00,481 --> 00:40:03,609 adding a large Hindu majority block to dilute the vote. 479 00:40:04,443 --> 00:40:05,945 What? 480 00:40:06,028 --> 00:40:09,365 Right now we could have been in between the thighs of whores, 481 00:40:09,448 --> 00:40:11,158 losing our virginities. 482 00:40:11,242 --> 00:40:13,619 And here we are trading electoral trivia. 483 00:40:16,914 --> 00:40:18,582 That at all we have, Ajay. 484 00:40:20,709 --> 00:40:22,169 Trivia. 485 00:40:24,422 --> 00:40:25,256 Correct. 486 00:40:28,801 --> 00:40:33,347 [man] Rubber On. Set up in the year 1972, 487 00:40:33,431 --> 00:40:38,185 with a dogged determination to achieve world-class standards, 488 00:40:38,269 --> 00:40:43,190 Rubber On is India's finest rubberized coil mattress. 489 00:40:43,274 --> 00:40:46,360 With technology imported from Austria, 490 00:40:46,444 --> 00:40:50,156 a dedicated workforce of more than 70, 491 00:40:50,239 --> 00:40:55,703 Rubber On strives to be the mattress of copulation to the nation's population. 492 00:40:55,786 --> 00:40:59,915 A mattress that always ensures a healthy hump, 493 00:40:59,999 --> 00:41:05,254 optimizing orgasm frequency and facilitating fluid flow. 494 00:41:05,337 --> 00:41:08,174 As is said by the holy Rita, 495 00:41:08,257 --> 00:41:13,554 a bed with the best booby bounce results in deeper penetration. 496 00:41:13,637 --> 00:41:17,808 Rubbing, rubbing, rubbing. 497 00:41:17,892 --> 00:41:20,895 Who do you think I built up the business for? 498 00:41:23,481 --> 00:41:26,775 After my retirement, Rubber On will be only for you. 499 00:41:26,859 --> 00:41:28,986 Coffee? Buttermilk? 500 00:41:29,069 --> 00:41:32,072 -Half a cup for me. -Nothing for me, Ma. 501 00:41:32,156 --> 00:41:36,952 When I was your age, I used to wake up at 4 a.m., milk the cows, 502 00:41:37,036 --> 00:41:41,916 wake up my brothers, make myself coffee, have a bath, 503 00:41:41,999 --> 00:41:45,503 then go all the way to the Christian house to give their children maths tuition. 504 00:41:45,586 --> 00:41:48,797 -Then I would-- -Go to grandfather's accountancy firm. 505 00:41:48,881 --> 00:41:50,382 Tell me something new, Appa. 506 00:41:50,466 --> 00:41:53,677 Hard work was our only ethic. 507 00:41:53,761 --> 00:41:56,138 And here you are drunk every night. 508 00:41:56,222 --> 00:41:58,474 You worked so hard so that I wouldn't have to, Appa. 509 00:41:58,557 --> 00:42:00,935 Plus I'm paying for my drinks with my own quizzing money. 510 00:42:01,018 --> 00:42:03,729 Quizzing? What will happen after college? 511 00:42:03,812 --> 00:42:07,691 Will your quizzing feed you for the rest of your life? 512 00:42:07,775 --> 00:42:11,862 To keep up with the times, I'm importing new machinery from Austria. 513 00:42:11,946 --> 00:42:14,573 The unique feature of this main sheeting plant 514 00:42:14,657 --> 00:42:18,494 is that it facilitates vertical fiber orientation. 515 00:42:18,577 --> 00:42:23,916 A process that results in the deeper penetration of the latex into the sheet, 516 00:42:23,999 --> 00:42:26,377 making it very classic. 517 00:42:26,460 --> 00:42:30,464 This provides the mattress with a uniform density throughout 518 00:42:30,548 --> 00:42:33,175 and an extra cushioning effect. 519 00:42:33,259 --> 00:42:37,012 There you have a mattress that is healthy for your back. 520 00:42:38,347 --> 00:42:41,225 What? Time for another quiz? 521 00:42:41,308 --> 00:42:42,768 Calcutta, Appa. 522 00:42:42,851 --> 00:42:45,145 [Brian reads question] 523 00:42:56,156 --> 00:42:57,700 [Ash] Naman! 524 00:43:00,035 --> 00:43:02,246 -Naman. -[Naman] What? 525 00:43:03,289 --> 00:43:06,750 I just came to wish you good luck. And goodbye. 526 00:43:06,834 --> 00:43:11,922 Well, you have. Therefore, dasvidanya, arrivederci. 527 00:43:13,048 --> 00:43:15,175 Is there anything you need for the journey? 528 00:43:15,259 --> 00:43:16,510 No. 529 00:43:17,678 --> 00:43:20,598 Actually, yes. Come with me. 530 00:43:22,224 --> 00:43:23,392 Hello, Ash. 531 00:43:32,318 --> 00:43:35,487 Ask for Rita. It's easy if it's a girl's voice. 532 00:43:38,032 --> 00:43:41,160 Hello. May I speak to Rita, please? 533 00:43:43,704 --> 00:43:45,664 [funky music] 534 00:43:47,041 --> 00:43:47,916 [phone rings] 535 00:43:50,961 --> 00:43:53,088 [ringing continues] 536 00:43:59,803 --> 00:44:02,681 -Hello? -[Naman] Hello? 537 00:44:03,766 --> 00:44:04,642 Hi, Rita. 538 00:44:07,019 --> 00:44:11,148 -Who's this? -This is an admirer. 539 00:44:11,231 --> 00:44:12,483 Admirer? 540 00:44:13,692 --> 00:44:15,361 Uh, I sent you that letter. 541 00:44:15,444 --> 00:44:17,279 What letter? 542 00:44:17,363 --> 00:44:20,741 -The one with the perfume. -[line distorts] 543 00:44:23,118 --> 00:44:24,370 Hello? 544 00:44:24,453 --> 00:44:25,788 Hello? 545 00:44:26,538 --> 00:44:28,791 -Hello? -Hello? Rita? 546 00:44:28,874 --> 00:44:31,669 -Hello? Are you in a station? -[trains whistling] 547 00:44:32,461 --> 00:44:33,337 Yes. 548 00:44:34,463 --> 00:44:37,508 Are you coming... or going? 549 00:44:38,133 --> 00:44:40,260 I... I don't know. 550 00:44:40,344 --> 00:44:42,096 [laughs] 551 00:44:43,722 --> 00:44:47,935 Hello? Did you know you're the most beautiful person on this Earth? 552 00:44:49,144 --> 00:44:50,354 Hello? 553 00:44:50,437 --> 00:44:52,356 Rita, hello? I love you. 554 00:44:54,691 --> 00:44:56,652 [indistinct shout] 555 00:45:02,741 --> 00:45:04,368 -Come on. -[train whistles] 556 00:45:11,834 --> 00:45:15,337 You made it. I was going to pull the chain. 557 00:45:15,421 --> 00:45:17,297 What happened to Ramu? 558 00:45:17,381 --> 00:45:20,092 He didn't ask his father for permission. 559 00:45:20,175 --> 00:45:21,927 There goes the fourth member for the quiz. 560 00:45:22,010 --> 00:45:25,681 [man] I may be old, but I'm not dead yet. 561 00:45:25,764 --> 00:45:27,891 According to the rules of the championship, 562 00:45:27,975 --> 00:45:30,894 your chaperone is allowed to step into the breach. 563 00:45:31,687 --> 00:45:33,272 [Naman] That's all good, then. 564 00:45:33,355 --> 00:45:36,233 Sir, can we play some music? 565 00:45:36,316 --> 00:45:39,611 -What? Can you repeat the question? -Can we play some music? 566 00:45:39,695 --> 00:45:43,615 If music be the food of love, play on. 567 00:45:43,699 --> 00:45:46,410 [funky rock music] 568 00:45:55,043 --> 00:45:56,295 [snoring] 569 00:45:59,006 --> 00:46:01,175 [knocking on door] 570 00:46:03,093 --> 00:46:04,845 [switching music off] 571 00:46:06,805 --> 00:46:11,143 What is this noise? The other people have complained, you know. 572 00:46:11,226 --> 00:46:14,480 Sir, we are young. Can enjoy only once. 573 00:46:14,563 --> 00:46:17,232 -Maintain decency. -Definitely, sir. 574 00:46:25,657 --> 00:46:27,326 [music resumes] 575 00:46:44,468 --> 00:46:46,970 [gargles] 576 00:46:48,597 --> 00:46:53,060 [Naman] Padma R, F-18. Naina K, F-18. 577 00:46:53,143 --> 00:46:56,605 These F-18s can bomb my airbase anytime! 578 00:46:56,688 --> 00:46:59,066 [Ajay] Rani P, F-17. 579 00:46:59,149 --> 00:47:01,902 [Randy] Augusta D, F-58. 580 00:47:03,779 --> 00:47:08,825 Unfortunately, here, if I'm not very much mistaken, are the exhibits themselves. 581 00:47:08,909 --> 00:47:11,870 [Randy] These look one drop kick away from an arranged marriage. 582 00:47:22,548 --> 00:47:25,634 Sir, why does Madras exist, as a concept? 583 00:47:27,094 --> 00:47:30,847 You know, I have a deathly relationship with Madras. 584 00:47:30,931 --> 00:47:34,101 The first time I passed through the city, the chief minister died. 585 00:47:34,184 --> 00:47:35,936 The second time, the governor died. 586 00:47:36,019 --> 00:47:39,189 This time, I hope the cursed minorities die. 587 00:47:39,898 --> 00:47:42,192 [Naman] Sir, surely that's a bit bigoted. 588 00:47:42,276 --> 00:47:43,652 Bigoted, shigoted. 589 00:47:43,735 --> 00:47:47,155 We Brahmans are the biggest bigots and racists on this planet. 590 00:47:47,239 --> 00:47:51,201 Why be ashamed of it? Revel in your supremacy, I say. 591 00:47:51,285 --> 00:47:53,203 Quarter kilo. 592 00:47:56,707 --> 00:47:58,667 -Naman? -Sir? 593 00:47:58,750 --> 00:48:01,753 -Dig out that gin bottle. -Huh? 594 00:48:01,837 --> 00:48:04,631 I may be old, but I'm not blind. Yet. 595 00:48:04,715 --> 00:48:07,676 An old man is allowed to enjoy his drink, too. 596 00:48:07,759 --> 00:48:13,640 Cherry in the gin is cherry on the cake. 597 00:48:13,724 --> 00:48:15,350 [laughs] 598 00:48:17,728 --> 00:48:19,396 Are all of you in your cups? 599 00:48:19,479 --> 00:48:21,857 -Cheese to the bees. -Cheers to the beers. 600 00:48:21,940 --> 00:48:25,068 -Diamonds are forever. -Cherries to the berries. 601 00:48:28,614 --> 00:48:32,242 The aspiring chief minister is not dead yet. 602 00:48:32,326 --> 00:48:34,286 But that can change. 603 00:48:34,911 --> 00:48:38,790 She used to live down my street when she was a schoolgirl. 604 00:48:38,874 --> 00:48:42,127 The bitch in her green school uniform, 605 00:48:42,210 --> 00:48:47,132 skirt ending just below her panties. 606 00:48:47,215 --> 00:48:49,718 She literally dripped as she walked along the street. 607 00:48:49,801 --> 00:48:54,848 And the dogs on heat followed the bitch in heat. 608 00:49:01,146 --> 00:49:02,856 [stammers] Ch-- Ch-- 609 00:49:02,939 --> 00:49:05,525 Chrysalis, I believe that's the word you were struggling for. 610 00:49:06,401 --> 00:49:08,236 [girl] Away from the parental cocoon. 611 00:49:08,320 --> 00:49:12,532 Not to mention the most conservative city in the world. 612 00:49:13,367 --> 00:49:16,536 -Madras. -The nympha become butterflies. 613 00:49:16,620 --> 00:49:18,830 Interesting that you use the word "nympha." 614 00:49:18,914 --> 00:49:22,709 If you're going to flog that old nymphomaniac joke, forget it. 615 00:49:22,793 --> 00:49:26,546 Be that as it may, whatever mania you girls subscribe to, 616 00:49:26,630 --> 00:49:29,299 you seem to be of the quizzing persuasion. 617 00:49:29,383 --> 00:49:33,428 You don't need much persuasion in a Brahman family, sir. 618 00:49:33,512 --> 00:49:37,599 Study, study, study. Quizzing is good for you. 619 00:49:37,683 --> 00:49:41,311 I mean, who will marry you if you don't have at least a postgraduate degree? 620 00:49:41,395 --> 00:49:44,856 That is correct. Who will indeed? 621 00:49:46,149 --> 00:49:49,152 -Have we seen you in Bangalore quizzes? -We've seen you. 622 00:49:49,236 --> 00:49:51,780 -We were at the South Zone championship. -Which we won. 623 00:49:51,863 --> 00:49:53,365 Oh, really, how could you tell? 624 00:49:56,868 --> 00:49:59,746 I'm Randeep... Randy. 625 00:50:00,664 --> 00:50:02,457 Padma. Paddy. 626 00:50:02,541 --> 00:50:04,835 No predictable Irish jokes, please. 627 00:50:04,918 --> 00:50:08,046 I was going for the rice theme. I'm Ajay. 628 00:50:08,964 --> 00:50:11,258 -Rani. -Yasmin. 629 00:50:11,341 --> 00:50:12,259 Naina. 630 00:50:13,552 --> 00:50:15,429 He's Naman, our team captain. 631 00:50:15,512 --> 00:50:19,683 I have seen Trappist monks speak more than your team captain. 632 00:50:19,766 --> 00:50:24,563 Forget it. He's in love. With me. 633 00:50:27,899 --> 00:50:29,860 [Naman] Where was she all my wife? 634 00:50:30,986 --> 00:50:32,612 Madras. 635 00:50:35,031 --> 00:50:36,992 You really must be in love. 636 00:50:37,868 --> 00:50:39,369 What makes you say that? 637 00:50:40,245 --> 00:50:43,373 Physical action instead of a smart verbal comeback. 638 00:50:43,457 --> 00:50:45,250 But what can I do? 639 00:50:46,168 --> 00:50:47,669 Talk to her, maybe. 640 00:50:49,045 --> 00:50:50,505 It's been known to work. 641 00:50:53,216 --> 00:50:55,427 I'm going to try and chat with Paddy. 642 00:50:57,137 --> 00:50:59,598 -How about Rita? -Who? 643 00:50:59,681 --> 00:51:02,267 [Brian reads question] 644 00:51:08,106 --> 00:51:10,025 [chaperone] So, the essence of my book, 645 00:51:10,108 --> 00:51:13,445 which I am titling Nostradamus's Inevitable Hinduism, 646 00:51:13,528 --> 00:51:17,991 is that your superstar Christ was in fact sired by a Roman guard. 647 00:51:18,074 --> 00:51:20,744 Tiberius Iulius Abdes Pantera. 648 00:51:20,827 --> 00:51:23,872 -Centurion much higher than a god. -[woman] How quaint. 649 00:51:23,955 --> 00:51:27,709 Clearly there were traces of miscegenation in your own family tree, 650 00:51:27,793 --> 00:51:31,755 -hence you're out to taint Christianity. -No, no, there is proof. 651 00:51:31,838 --> 00:51:36,259 The Greek philosopher Celsus said so in his work Alethès Lógos. 652 00:51:36,343 --> 00:51:40,138 -Which was refuted by his friend Origen-- -In his eight-volume work Contra Celsum. 653 00:51:42,724 --> 00:51:46,812 Naina, can I have a word with you alone? 654 00:51:49,397 --> 00:51:53,485 No. No mixing with boys. What would your father say? 655 00:51:53,568 --> 00:51:55,862 Let her go, O Augusta Delphin. 656 00:51:55,946 --> 00:52:01,743 They are typical quiz boys. Harmless, gutless, feckless. 657 00:52:03,870 --> 00:52:08,708 Clearly your protégés, then, Bernard Judekumar Irudayarasan. 658 00:52:08,792 --> 00:52:12,671 I'll have you know, Miss Augusta, that in 1968, 659 00:52:12,754 --> 00:52:17,175 when I used to come to your school, there was not a single... 660 00:52:17,259 --> 00:52:19,135 [train horn blows] 661 00:52:19,219 --> 00:52:21,805 [Naina] Well, none for me? 662 00:52:21,888 --> 00:52:23,974 A beaker full of the warm south. 663 00:52:24,057 --> 00:52:25,934 The blushful Hippocrene. 664 00:52:28,812 --> 00:52:30,564 You know your stuff. 665 00:52:32,023 --> 00:52:33,024 Mmm. 666 00:52:33,108 --> 00:52:35,193 It's a funny thing about knowledge. 667 00:52:35,277 --> 00:52:37,863 It's been known for more than one person to have it. 668 00:52:37,946 --> 00:52:41,157 -That's not what I meant. -That is exactly what you meant. 669 00:52:41,241 --> 00:52:44,578 But you didn't say what you meant when you said that-- 670 00:52:44,661 --> 00:52:46,371 That you were in love with me. 671 00:52:47,539 --> 00:52:49,708 It's painfully obvious. 672 00:52:49,791 --> 00:52:56,214 I am good-looking, smart, female, Brahman, 673 00:52:56,298 --> 00:52:59,217 now imbibing alcoholic libations with you. 674 00:52:59,301 --> 00:53:04,055 I even speak in that funny convoluted way that quizzers seem to automatically adopt. 675 00:53:04,639 --> 00:53:08,560 And if I were to ask you for that cigar, you would propose right away. 676 00:53:09,769 --> 00:53:13,231 And I'm not awed by your quiz-champ status. 677 00:53:16,151 --> 00:53:18,653 You know so much about me. How? 678 00:53:18,737 --> 00:53:20,488 I've seen you onstage. 679 00:53:20,572 --> 00:53:22,240 Admired me from afar. 680 00:53:22,949 --> 00:53:26,703 Seen you onstage. You are a great quizzer. 681 00:53:26,786 --> 00:53:33,585 Brahman fundamentalist, alcoholic, sexist, et cetera, et cetera. 682 00:53:33,668 --> 00:53:35,295 Thanks. 683 00:53:35,378 --> 00:53:38,298 And only you would take that as a compliment. 684 00:53:40,050 --> 00:53:44,596 -You still haven't answered. -I still don't know what the question is. 685 00:53:44,679 --> 00:53:47,557 [train horn blowing] 686 00:53:47,641 --> 00:53:49,893 [Rita] Are you coming or going? 687 00:53:49,976 --> 00:53:51,144 Forget it. 688 00:53:51,227 --> 00:53:52,562 -Brahman family. -Naman. 689 00:53:52,646 --> 00:53:53,730 -[Naman] Rita? -Naina. 690 00:53:53,813 --> 00:53:55,607 -[Ajay] She's a Christian, ra. -No! 691 00:53:57,943 --> 00:54:00,654 [Bernard] And what was worse, was that I lost a fortune 692 00:54:00,737 --> 00:54:03,448 due to termites getting into my deposit box. 693 00:54:04,699 --> 00:54:06,451 Sir, what happened? 694 00:54:06,534 --> 00:54:08,578 We're stuck at the Orissa-Bengal border. 695 00:54:08,662 --> 00:54:10,872 The ruling party has called for a bandh, a general strike. 696 00:54:10,956 --> 00:54:13,375 No movement for the next 12 hours. 697 00:54:17,128 --> 00:54:20,840 -And the reserve, sir? -I finished it all while you were asleep. 698 00:54:20,924 --> 00:54:22,634 Miss Augusta helped. 699 00:54:23,885 --> 00:54:26,388 And the train has run out of food. 700 00:54:26,471 --> 00:54:28,181 Wake up, bastard. 701 00:54:29,683 --> 00:54:32,477 -[groans] -Wake up, bastard, wake up. 702 00:54:39,109 --> 00:54:41,611 [traditional Indian guitar song plays] 703 00:55:24,237 --> 00:55:25,321 [Ajay] Nipple. 704 00:55:27,949 --> 00:55:28,908 Aureolae. 705 00:55:34,205 --> 00:55:36,124 [Naman] We need food. 706 00:55:37,167 --> 00:55:38,168 Booze. 707 00:55:39,919 --> 00:55:41,379 [stammers] Train. 708 00:55:42,338 --> 00:55:45,008 [both mimic train] 709 00:55:45,091 --> 00:55:46,301 Stop. 710 00:55:46,384 --> 00:55:48,011 Food, food. 711 00:55:48,094 --> 00:55:49,721 Aah... 712 00:55:50,430 --> 00:55:52,390 And, uh, booze, booze. 713 00:55:52,474 --> 00:55:53,767 Mmm. 714 00:56:00,273 --> 00:56:01,149 Booze. 715 00:56:01,232 --> 00:56:03,610 [chickens clucking, rooster crows] 716 00:56:33,473 --> 00:56:36,101 -[soft overlapping chatter] -[slow music plays on a radio] 717 00:57:15,223 --> 00:57:17,267 [belches] 718 00:57:18,768 --> 00:57:20,603 Sorry. 719 00:57:20,687 --> 00:57:22,564 In China-- 720 00:57:22,647 --> 00:57:27,610 Belching is considered to be a sign of gratitude and satisfaction. I know. 721 00:57:28,862 --> 00:57:31,781 -Always a step ahead. -Obviously. 722 00:57:33,366 --> 00:57:39,122 Anyway, I am grateful and satisfied. Thank you for getting all this. 723 00:57:39,205 --> 00:57:43,751 Well, when one is described as gutless and harmless-- 724 00:57:43,835 --> 00:57:46,171 You left out feckless. 725 00:57:46,254 --> 00:57:49,549 James Joyce used the word "feck" as a synonym for stealing. 726 00:57:49,632 --> 00:57:53,178 In A Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man. Yeah. 727 00:57:54,053 --> 00:57:57,348 -Not bad. -For a girl? 728 00:57:58,057 --> 00:58:01,394 -No. Not bad per se. -Oh. 729 00:58:01,478 --> 00:58:04,022 A compliment. Not grudging. 730 00:58:06,483 --> 00:58:12,614 You were right when you said that I don't really even understand-- 731 00:58:12,697 --> 00:58:16,493 -Naman, don't you have a girlfriend? -Yes. 732 00:58:16,576 --> 00:58:19,704 No. Not yet. 733 00:58:20,663 --> 00:58:22,999 [chuckles] Either way, you're unfaithful. 734 00:58:23,082 --> 00:58:28,421 No doubt you have some twisted Brahman justification to explain it away. 735 00:58:28,505 --> 00:58:29,797 He does. 736 00:58:29,881 --> 00:58:32,967 Naina, Augusta ma'am says it's bedtime. 737 00:58:33,051 --> 00:58:36,554 -[Naman] The last song on the-- -White Album. Good night. 738 00:58:53,780 --> 00:58:56,115 You realize who Naina is, don't you? 739 00:58:57,534 --> 00:58:58,701 Who? 740 00:59:00,620 --> 00:59:02,080 She's you, Naman. 741 00:59:04,457 --> 00:59:06,209 Female Naman. 742 00:59:09,128 --> 00:59:13,132 So, if you fuck her... 743 00:59:15,260 --> 00:59:17,220 it'll be like fucking yourself. 744 00:59:21,975 --> 00:59:23,851 That makes it homo sex. 745 00:59:23,935 --> 00:59:25,478 [rock music playing] 746 00:59:26,563 --> 00:59:28,314 [chanting] 747 00:59:33,319 --> 00:59:35,238 -[Brian] Good evening, everybody. -[applause] 748 00:59:35,321 --> 00:59:39,033 How's Calcutta doing today? How's Calcutta doing today? 749 00:59:39,117 --> 00:59:40,952 -[cheering] -Very good. 750 00:59:41,035 --> 00:59:44,414 This year is a very special year 751 00:59:44,497 --> 00:59:49,002 because we are celebrating the 17th anniversary of quizzing in India, 752 00:59:49,085 --> 00:59:51,796 which, as you all know, began right here in Calcutta. 753 00:59:51,879 --> 00:59:56,050 Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to Quiz Superstars. 754 00:59:56,676 --> 01:00:00,680 The biggest quiz in India, and I'm Brian D'Costa. 755 01:00:01,681 --> 01:00:03,391 -Oh, less of brain. -Yeah. 756 01:00:03,474 --> 01:00:06,561 As usual, we have teams from all across India, 757 01:00:06,644 --> 01:00:11,566 from Delhi, Bombay, Bangalore, Madras 758 01:00:11,649 --> 01:00:17,280 and, of course, our very own kollolini Kolkata. 759 01:00:17,363 --> 01:00:19,991 -[cheers and applause] -I have great news for you. 760 01:00:20,074 --> 01:00:24,370 This year, our sponsors are not only hosting the outstation teams, 761 01:00:24,454 --> 01:00:28,750 but are also paying for the food and beverage expenses. 762 01:00:28,833 --> 01:00:32,253 -What did he say? -He said drinks are on the house. 763 01:00:34,547 --> 01:00:38,426 India has a proud tradition of quizzing. 764 01:00:38,509 --> 01:00:42,430 This is because we Indians thirst for knowledge... 765 01:00:43,389 --> 01:00:46,809 Hey. How are you? All well? Good to see you. 766 01:00:46,893 --> 01:00:49,646 [Brian] We Indians also revel in displaying said knowledge. 767 01:00:49,729 --> 01:00:54,525 Trivia, esoterica, science, technology. 768 01:00:54,609 --> 01:00:58,905 -16 whiskeys, please. On the quiz tab. -Yes, sir. 769 01:00:58,988 --> 01:01:03,910 ...our very lovely scorer for tonight, Kitty Chatterjee. 770 01:01:04,619 --> 01:01:09,916 You look absolutely gorgeous. Come on up. Wonderful. Welcome. 771 01:01:10,541 --> 01:01:13,920 Can we have a big round of applause for Kitty tonight? Thank you. 772 01:01:15,171 --> 01:01:19,509 Thank you so much. All right, my next question is for Bangalore. 773 01:01:19,592 --> 01:01:21,803 Are you ready for this question? 774 01:01:21,886 --> 01:01:26,766 On Calcutta's suburban trains, what are the pen sellers called? 775 01:01:26,849 --> 01:01:28,768 Your time starts now. 776 01:01:30,186 --> 01:01:32,772 This is a pass-on round... Yes? 777 01:01:32,855 --> 01:01:36,192 -Lalu-Bhulus. -That is the right answer. 778 01:01:36,275 --> 01:01:39,362 Big round of applause, please. Thank you so much. 779 01:01:39,445 --> 01:01:40,947 Kitty, two points for Bangalore. 780 01:01:41,030 --> 01:01:42,699 Delhi, my next question, 781 01:01:42,782 --> 01:01:46,411 who was the cowriter of Layla, along with Eric Clapton? 782 01:01:46,494 --> 01:01:48,037 George Harrison. 783 01:01:48,121 --> 01:01:52,333 I'm sorry, that's the incorrect answer. The question now passes to Madras. 784 01:01:52,959 --> 01:01:55,253 -What is the answer? -Jim Gordon. 785 01:01:55,336 --> 01:01:57,004 Absolutely right! Perfect! 786 01:01:58,297 --> 01:02:03,052 Team Bangalore, which 1942 painting by Edward Hopper 787 01:02:03,136 --> 01:02:05,722 -depicts people in a downtown-- -Nighthawks. 788 01:02:05,805 --> 01:02:09,600 Perfect. Thank you so much. Two points for Bangalore. 789 01:02:09,684 --> 01:02:13,646 Calcutta, the nationality of Christopher Columbus. 790 01:02:13,730 --> 01:02:15,022 [boy] We guess he was Spanish. 791 01:02:15,106 --> 01:02:17,483 I am so sorry, that's the incorrect answer. 792 01:02:17,567 --> 01:02:20,820 The question now passes to Bangalore. 793 01:02:20,903 --> 01:02:23,281 -Italy. -Absolutely right. 794 01:02:23,364 --> 01:02:26,242 Bangalore is on a roll tonight. 795 01:02:26,325 --> 01:02:28,244 Who bowled him that first ball? 796 01:02:28,327 --> 01:02:30,913 -Graham McKenzie. -That is perfectly right. 797 01:02:30,997 --> 01:02:34,542 -All right, Calcutta, what is the answer? -1911. 798 01:02:34,625 --> 01:02:38,921 Absolutely right. May we have a big round of applause for Calcutta! Thank you. 799 01:02:39,839 --> 01:02:43,134 This is a first. A tie. 800 01:02:43,217 --> 01:02:45,178 The reigning champions, Calcutta, 801 01:02:45,261 --> 01:02:51,392 and challengers Bangalore are both tied on 32 points. 802 01:02:51,476 --> 01:02:53,770 As this is a winner-takes-all quiz, 803 01:02:53,853 --> 01:02:57,982 I shall now have to ask a final tiebreaker question. 804 01:02:58,566 --> 01:02:59,984 Are you ready? 805 01:03:00,902 --> 01:03:04,155 Bangalore, this tiebreaker question is for you. 806 01:03:04,238 --> 01:03:10,077 What is the American popular slang for motels run by Indians? 807 01:03:10,995 --> 01:03:14,749 Most US hotels are run by Patels. Potels. 808 01:03:15,583 --> 01:03:16,417 What? 809 01:03:16,501 --> 01:03:18,377 [Brian] Your time is running out, Bangalore. 810 01:03:18,461 --> 01:03:21,714 -Oh, sorry. Can you repeat the question? -[Brian] Yes. 811 01:03:21,798 --> 01:03:27,220 What is the American popular slang for motels run by Indians? 812 01:03:27,303 --> 01:03:31,808 Simple. Potels. Motels run by Patels. 813 01:03:33,684 --> 01:03:36,729 Bangalore, that is the wrong answer. 814 01:03:37,688 --> 01:03:40,274 Calcutta, it's your turn. 815 01:03:40,358 --> 01:03:43,152 I believe the correct answer would be Patels. 816 01:03:43,236 --> 01:03:47,073 That is absolutely right. Calcutta have the right answer! 817 01:03:47,156 --> 01:03:49,575 -Calcutta wins again! -[cheering] 818 01:03:49,659 --> 01:03:51,744 Potels, not Patels, is the correct answer, sir. 819 01:03:51,828 --> 01:03:56,499 -Potels. Potels, Calcutta, potels. -It's Patels. 820 01:03:57,708 --> 01:04:00,545 It's a fix. I knew it. 821 01:04:04,131 --> 01:04:06,008 [sound fades] 822 01:04:10,513 --> 01:04:15,935 [echoing] I curse you, you fucking brainless Brian baboon. 823 01:04:16,018 --> 01:04:17,937 [up-tempo drums] 824 01:04:19,397 --> 01:04:22,316 ♪ Oh, you asshole ♪ 825 01:04:22,400 --> 01:04:25,820 ♪ Completely loathsome pain in the bum ♪ 826 01:04:25,903 --> 01:04:29,490 [indistinct chanting] 827 01:04:29,574 --> 01:04:32,743 ♪ Brahman Naman Fuck you up ♪ 828 01:04:32,827 --> 01:04:34,370 [indistinct chatter] 829 01:04:50,720 --> 01:04:53,723 Sorry, Naman. You deserved to win. 830 01:04:53,806 --> 01:04:57,476 -It's a fix. That fucking brainless-- -[man clears his throat] 831 01:04:57,560 --> 01:04:58,769 [Naina] Naman, this is my father. 832 01:04:58,853 --> 01:05:01,606 Sorry, uncle. It's just that-- 833 01:05:01,689 --> 01:05:05,443 Whatever the scenario, the use of foul language is not appropriate, young man. 834 01:05:06,527 --> 01:05:07,904 Sorry, uncle. 835 01:05:07,987 --> 01:05:09,572 What are you studying? 836 01:05:10,948 --> 01:05:14,410 Commerce. St. James, Bangalore, sir. 837 01:05:14,493 --> 01:05:17,663 It's a good college. What are your plans? 838 01:05:17,747 --> 01:05:21,292 -Plans? -I mean career plans. 839 01:05:21,375 --> 01:05:24,545 You're studying B-com? Hello? 840 01:05:24,629 --> 01:05:26,839 You're studying B-com, next year, MBA? 841 01:05:26,923 --> 01:05:29,425 Sir, I haven't really decided. 842 01:05:30,593 --> 01:05:33,763 Well, that's a problem with today's boys. 843 01:05:33,846 --> 01:05:37,558 Look at my Naina. She's already preparing for her MBA entrance. 844 01:05:38,309 --> 01:05:39,143 [sighs] 845 01:05:40,227 --> 01:05:43,230 Naina, let me go and check the tickets. 846 01:05:45,816 --> 01:05:49,111 I'm so sorry. He's not as bad as he sounds. 847 01:05:49,195 --> 01:05:52,281 My father asks me the same questions. [clears throat] 848 01:05:53,658 --> 01:05:57,912 Anyway, what was he saying about the tickets? Aren't you returning with us? 849 01:05:57,995 --> 01:05:59,914 No. Uh... 850 01:05:59,997 --> 01:06:03,000 We're going to Jamshedpur to see my aunt. 851 01:06:03,084 --> 01:06:06,128 -So when...? -Who knows? 852 01:06:08,506 --> 01:06:09,715 And us? 853 01:06:09,799 --> 01:06:13,052 Naman, just because a girl spends time with you on equal terms 854 01:06:13,135 --> 01:06:15,429 doesn't qualify for an "us." 855 01:06:20,601 --> 01:06:21,769 Do you even like me? 856 01:06:24,438 --> 01:06:29,193 You're oddly likable. Or likable, which is odd. 857 01:06:43,791 --> 01:06:46,419 On the quiz tab. 858 01:06:46,502 --> 01:06:48,295 [laughing] 859 01:07:03,978 --> 01:07:08,190 Naman, if you don't mind, I have a suggestion. 860 01:07:10,317 --> 01:07:13,029 What can you possibly add to this wonderful evening? 861 01:07:15,322 --> 01:07:19,702 Why don't you give Rita a call? She was Plan A, after all. 862 01:07:23,247 --> 01:07:25,791 Out of the mouths of babes and sucklings! 863 01:07:26,917 --> 01:07:28,711 Bloody master. 864 01:07:29,628 --> 01:07:31,922 [rock music plays] 865 01:07:36,093 --> 01:07:37,845 [indistinct chatter over PA] 866 01:07:39,597 --> 01:07:42,058 -Details? -So... 867 01:07:42,141 --> 01:07:45,686 was Padma aka Paddy a virgin? Rivers of blood, et cetera? 868 01:07:46,270 --> 01:07:49,398 -We didn't really... -What? But you were with her all night. 869 01:07:49,482 --> 01:07:53,319 -Actually, we didn't do it. -Why, bambino? No lead in the old pencil? 870 01:07:53,402 --> 01:07:55,488 No, you didn't let me finish. 871 01:07:55,571 --> 01:08:00,159 I was going to say, actually, we didn't do it with a condom. 872 01:08:00,242 --> 01:08:01,702 Bareback. 873 01:08:03,245 --> 01:08:05,915 It slipped in smooth with no obstacles. 874 01:08:05,998 --> 01:08:08,167 So who popped it? The milkman? 875 01:08:08,250 --> 01:08:10,836 She said it broke from excessive cycle riding. 876 01:08:10,920 --> 01:08:13,422 Not from excessive Ajay riding. 877 01:08:15,508 --> 01:08:17,510 I wonder what she'll tell her husband? 878 01:08:17,593 --> 01:08:20,554 I believe hymenoplasty is an option these days. 879 01:08:21,388 --> 01:08:22,223 Hmm. 880 01:08:34,318 --> 01:08:36,153 [train whistle blows] 881 01:08:47,748 --> 01:08:50,251 [moody electropop music] 882 01:08:55,506 --> 01:08:59,844 -♪ Where did you go? ♪ -♪ Ah, ah ♪ 883 01:08:59,927 --> 01:09:04,306 -♪ I don't know ♪ -♪ Ah, ah ♪ 884 01:09:04,390 --> 01:09:08,018 -♪ I don't know ♪ -♪ Ah, ah ♪ 885 01:09:08,102 --> 01:09:12,815 -♪ Where did you go? ♪ -♪ Ah, ah ♪ 886 01:09:12,898 --> 01:09:17,319 -♪ I am in pain ♪ -♪ Ah, ah ♪ 887 01:09:17,403 --> 01:09:21,532 -♪ You were in train ♪ -♪ Ah, ah ♪ 888 01:09:21,615 --> 01:09:26,036 -♪ I am in train ♪ -♪ Ah, ah ♪ 889 01:09:26,120 --> 01:09:30,416 -♪ Are you in pain? ♪ -♪ Ah ♪ 890 01:09:30,499 --> 01:09:34,545 -♪ Is this a game? ♪ -♪ Ah, ah ♪ 891 01:09:34,628 --> 01:09:38,841 -♪ This is a shame ♪ -♪ Ah, ah ♪ 892 01:09:38,924 --> 01:09:45,931 ♪ This is a game ♪ 893 01:09:46,807 --> 01:09:50,102 ♪ Ah, ah, ah, ah ♪ 894 01:09:50,186 --> 01:09:53,147 Quick. Piss her out. 895 01:09:54,315 --> 01:09:56,567 -On the tracks? -Where else? 896 01:09:58,277 --> 01:09:59,904 [both unzipping pants] 897 01:10:02,823 --> 01:10:04,950 [Brian reads question] 898 01:10:15,794 --> 01:10:18,339 [sultry music] 899 01:11:06,136 --> 01:11:08,305 [moans quietly] 900 01:11:20,526 --> 01:11:23,070 [Rita] Listen, you can't keep calling me like this. 901 01:11:23,153 --> 01:11:25,155 My parents have been wondering. 902 01:11:25,239 --> 01:11:28,158 And you keep hanging up when anybody else picks up. 903 01:11:28,242 --> 01:11:31,078 That's because I want to talk only to you. 904 01:11:32,371 --> 01:11:33,455 Can I call you darling? 905 01:11:34,123 --> 01:11:35,708 Darling Rita. 906 01:11:36,667 --> 01:11:37,501 Hmm. 907 01:11:37,584 --> 01:11:39,503 You're looking beautiful. 908 01:11:39,586 --> 01:11:41,171 -Hello? -Hello? 909 01:11:41,255 --> 01:11:42,548 Hello. 910 01:11:42,631 --> 01:11:44,758 [Naman] You're looking beautiful. 911 01:11:46,552 --> 01:11:48,053 Hmm... 912 01:11:49,888 --> 01:11:51,390 How do you know? 913 01:11:52,141 --> 01:11:55,144 Because girls look beautiful when they are angry. 914 01:11:55,227 --> 01:11:58,564 But I don't even know what you look like. 915 01:11:58,647 --> 01:12:01,442 In the fullness of time, at the appropriate juncture. 916 01:12:01,525 --> 01:12:04,236 -Hello? -[distorted] At the appropriate juncture. 917 01:12:04,320 --> 01:12:05,779 -Hello? -I can't-- [static] 918 01:12:05,863 --> 01:12:07,781 Please give me a clue. 919 01:12:07,865 --> 01:12:10,492 I wrote an article in the St. James' College magazine last year. 920 01:12:11,410 --> 01:12:12,870 -Hello? -Hello? 921 01:12:12,953 --> 01:12:16,373 -What was it called? -It was called Depression: A Treatise. 922 01:12:17,666 --> 01:12:20,169 Hello? Rita, hello? 923 01:12:20,252 --> 01:12:21,462 [Rita laughs] 924 01:12:21,545 --> 01:12:23,130 Depression: A Treatise. 925 01:12:24,048 --> 01:12:25,382 Hello? 926 01:12:28,427 --> 01:12:30,804 There you are. I looked everywhere. 927 01:12:30,888 --> 01:12:32,264 What do you want? 928 01:12:32,973 --> 01:12:37,102 -I just heard about Calcutta and-- -You've come to gloat about our defeat. 929 01:12:37,186 --> 01:12:40,481 You know I would never even dream of anything like that. 930 01:12:40,564 --> 01:12:44,234 Good news, good news, the Lord is coming, the savior is coming! 931 01:12:44,318 --> 01:12:49,281 -But I am already here. -No, Lord Jesus Christ is coming. 932 01:12:49,365 --> 01:12:52,326 Austin Town football ground. 7 p.m. Wednesday. 933 01:12:52,409 --> 01:12:53,744 Is he coming in person? 934 01:12:57,289 --> 01:12:58,791 [motorbike approaches] 935 01:13:04,046 --> 01:13:05,798 -This one? -Yeah. 936 01:13:06,757 --> 01:13:08,592 Are you Naman? 937 01:13:16,683 --> 01:13:18,519 Are you Naman? 938 01:13:19,853 --> 01:13:22,523 Depression: A Treatise indeed. 939 01:13:23,524 --> 01:13:24,983 And do you know what? 940 01:13:25,067 --> 01:13:28,153 The stupid language of your stupid piece 941 01:13:28,237 --> 01:13:31,990 totally matched the stupid language of your stupid letter. 942 01:13:32,074 --> 01:13:33,075 Stupid! 943 01:13:34,410 --> 01:13:37,621 So you're the one who's been calling me all this while. 944 01:13:40,207 --> 01:13:43,919 Never ever call me again. Coward. 945 01:13:52,261 --> 01:13:54,596 At least she spoke to you face-to-face. 946 01:13:55,389 --> 01:13:57,224 [rock music] 947 01:13:57,307 --> 01:14:00,477 ♪ My baby left me ♪ 948 01:14:00,561 --> 01:14:02,438 ♪ She was mad ♪ 949 01:14:03,439 --> 01:14:06,108 [Ajay] "Never ever call me again. 950 01:14:06,191 --> 01:14:08,694 -Coward." -Fuckers. 951 01:14:08,777 --> 01:14:10,571 With friends like you, who needs enemas? 952 01:14:10,654 --> 01:14:12,656 This is what I told you in the beginning. 953 01:14:12,739 --> 01:14:15,451 Don't have anything to do with girls. They are stupid. 954 01:14:15,534 --> 01:14:18,203 How about your fling with Padma in Calcutta? 955 01:14:19,121 --> 01:14:22,374 The best thing to do is jerk her out. 956 01:14:22,458 --> 01:14:24,918 She'll disappear from your heart as soon as you cum. 957 01:14:25,002 --> 01:14:26,879 Don't worry, she's probably an untouchable anyway. 958 01:14:27,963 --> 01:14:30,716 To the victory of sex. Sex is truth. 959 01:14:30,799 --> 01:14:32,926 In vino veritas. 960 01:14:33,010 --> 01:14:35,429 There's truth in alcohol, too. 961 01:14:35,929 --> 01:14:38,223 Forgive me, I lied to you in Calcutta. 962 01:14:38,891 --> 01:14:43,437 At least you got laid, ra. Padma ain't no Sylvia Kristel, but... 963 01:14:43,520 --> 01:14:44,563 That night after the quiz, 964 01:14:44,646 --> 01:14:47,649 her boyfriend had followed her to Calcutta to get time alone with her. 965 01:14:47,733 --> 01:14:51,153 Miss Augusta let her go with me because Bernie told her we were harmless. 966 01:14:51,737 --> 01:14:54,990 I took her to her boyfriend's hotel and waited while she went upstairs. 967 01:14:55,824 --> 01:14:58,076 She took hours and hours to come back. 968 01:14:58,160 --> 01:15:00,787 -[laughter] -At least somebody got laid! 969 01:15:07,419 --> 01:15:11,465 Hey. Why chase after Nainas and Ritas when you have her? 970 01:15:11,548 --> 01:15:13,509 -I wouldn't go there. -I would. 971 01:15:13,592 --> 01:15:17,971 So what if she's got pimples. Nice tits, nice arse. 972 01:15:18,055 --> 01:15:20,599 Cover the face, fire the base. 973 01:15:22,559 --> 01:15:26,146 I know I'm not invited here, but Rita told me what she said to you-- 974 01:15:26,230 --> 01:15:29,566 For a change, you aren't gloating. Take a pew. 975 01:15:34,613 --> 01:15:36,698 ♪ Fuck you! ♪ 976 01:15:36,782 --> 01:15:39,117 ♪ I'll be fine ♪ 977 01:15:45,457 --> 01:15:48,835 I want green salad. 978 01:15:48,919 --> 01:15:53,757 -Sorry, sir, kitchen is closed. -But I want green salad. 979 01:15:59,304 --> 01:16:03,100 -I think you should go home now. -[Randy] I want green salad. 980 01:16:03,183 --> 01:16:05,894 I want revenge. Bloody leper Rita. 981 01:16:07,729 --> 01:16:09,523 You'll get your revenge, baba. 982 01:16:09,606 --> 01:16:12,609 [Ramu] "If you prick us, do we not bleed? 983 01:16:12,693 --> 01:16:15,279 If you tickle us, do we not laugh?" 984 01:16:15,362 --> 01:16:17,072 "If you poison us, do we not die?" 985 01:16:17,155 --> 01:16:20,784 "If you wrong us, shall we not revenge?" 986 01:16:20,867 --> 01:16:22,244 Shakespeare. 987 01:16:24,037 --> 01:16:26,164 -[Randy] I want... -Randy! 988 01:16:26,248 --> 01:16:27,666 ...green salad. 989 01:16:27,749 --> 01:16:30,711 -[Ramu] Come down. Come down now. -[Ash] Please, what are you doing? 990 01:16:30,794 --> 01:16:32,629 But I want green fucking salad. 991 01:16:32,713 --> 01:16:34,590 [Ash] Randy, please just come down. Please. 992 01:16:35,591 --> 01:16:38,677 No green. No women. 993 01:16:40,053 --> 01:16:41,597 No salad. 994 01:16:44,016 --> 01:16:45,392 What's the point in living? 995 01:16:47,477 --> 01:16:49,229 [panicked chatter] 996 01:16:49,313 --> 01:16:51,607 Come down, ra. Don't make a scene here. 997 01:16:51,690 --> 01:16:53,525 -[Ash] Please, Randy. -[Naman] Waiter, salad, now. 998 01:16:53,609 --> 01:16:58,405 -[Naman] It's coming. -This way. Come down, please. Careful. 999 01:17:00,699 --> 01:17:02,784 There's your green salad. 1000 01:17:25,682 --> 01:17:29,394 Precision... is the key. 1001 01:17:34,858 --> 01:17:38,320 God, what have I created? 1002 01:17:39,821 --> 01:17:41,615 [motorbike engine] 1003 01:17:49,331 --> 01:17:52,918 Watch and learn. The revenge of the Brahman. 1004 01:17:56,546 --> 01:17:57,798 [whistle blowing] 1005 01:17:57,881 --> 01:18:00,217 -[Ash laughs] -[rock music plays] 1006 01:18:10,143 --> 01:18:11,812 Where to now? 1007 01:18:12,979 --> 01:18:15,607 You want to see something you've never seen before? 1008 01:18:16,441 --> 01:18:19,903 Romantic, soft, bouncy. 1009 01:18:21,196 --> 01:18:23,490 I would love to! 1010 01:18:28,245 --> 01:18:31,206 Joseph! Joseph! 1011 01:18:31,289 --> 01:18:35,210 Yaarappa? Sir, you so late. 1012 01:18:35,293 --> 01:18:37,838 Leave the light on, maado, and go back to bed, understand? 1013 01:18:40,841 --> 01:18:43,009 [Ash laughs] 1014 01:18:47,973 --> 01:18:50,434 -Wow. -Impressive. 1015 01:18:50,517 --> 01:18:53,395 My father imports these machines from Austria. 1016 01:18:53,812 --> 01:18:54,855 Really? 1017 01:19:14,916 --> 01:19:17,377 [Ash laughs] 1018 01:19:35,395 --> 01:19:39,483 For madam, the finest rubberized coir latex 1019 01:19:39,566 --> 01:19:43,153 featuring a fabulous jute hessian quilted cloth. 1020 01:19:43,236 --> 01:19:44,738 [giggling] 1021 01:19:44,821 --> 01:19:51,661 Or perhaps this one. This one sinks to make perfect contours for your body. 1022 01:19:51,745 --> 01:19:56,875 Or should I say... contours for your perfect body? 1023 01:20:08,345 --> 01:20:10,180 I have a surprise for you. 1024 01:20:25,946 --> 01:20:28,573 A Brahman cannot sip from the same bottle as you. 1025 01:20:29,658 --> 01:20:32,327 Our lips are going to touch anyway. 1026 01:20:32,410 --> 01:20:35,580 Besides, I'm a Brahman, too. 1027 01:20:59,771 --> 01:21:01,565 Ow! Naman! 1028 01:21:03,066 --> 01:21:05,277 Ouch. What are you thinking? 1029 01:21:07,028 --> 01:21:08,405 Sorry. 1030 01:21:09,823 --> 01:21:11,700 How bad is it? 1031 01:21:22,002 --> 01:21:23,503 Ash? 1032 01:21:26,006 --> 01:21:27,924 Cover the face. 1033 01:21:30,385 --> 01:21:32,304 Fire the base. 1034 01:21:50,238 --> 01:21:51,948 [silent mouthing] 1035 01:22:12,552 --> 01:22:15,305 I've waited so long for this, Naman. 1036 01:22:37,661 --> 01:22:39,371 Where are you going, bastard? 1037 01:22:56,554 --> 01:23:00,558 Sorry for you, Naman. Very sorry. 1038 01:23:01,559 --> 01:23:06,982 I came here tonight because I loved you, despite the constant mocking and... 1039 01:23:07,524 --> 01:23:10,443 underneath I thought that there was some affection for me. 1040 01:23:11,277 --> 01:23:13,571 I was so wrong. 1041 01:23:13,655 --> 01:23:17,575 Your arrogance is just a front for your ugliness. 1042 01:23:18,284 --> 01:23:20,704 Yes, Naman, you're ugly. 1043 01:23:27,752 --> 01:23:31,548 Rita was right. You're nothing but a coward. 1044 01:23:32,799 --> 01:23:36,761 You think because you have all the answers you're so clever. You don't. 1045 01:23:37,429 --> 01:23:39,097 And you're not. 1046 01:23:39,931 --> 01:23:42,934 Once your cheerleader friends grow up and see through you, 1047 01:23:43,018 --> 01:23:47,897 you're going to be left all alone for the rest of your miserable life. 1048 01:24:26,061 --> 01:24:27,604 [starts motor] 1049 01:24:39,616 --> 01:24:40,784 [turns off motor] 1050 01:24:47,082 --> 01:24:50,794 What are you waiting for? Fuck off. 1051 01:24:53,379 --> 01:24:55,924 -It's a long walk back. -I said, fuck off. 1052 01:25:02,305 --> 01:25:03,640 [revving engine] 1053 01:25:08,394 --> 01:25:10,188 [bike races away] 1054 01:25:28,581 --> 01:25:31,251 [school bell rings] 1055 01:25:51,146 --> 01:25:53,398 -Naman, I-- -The Iriya Samiti, 1056 01:25:53,481 --> 01:25:56,067 the regulation of walking in Jain scriptures, 1057 01:25:56,151 --> 01:25:59,445 it states that one should walk looking carefully six feet distance ahead. 1058 01:25:59,529 --> 01:26:02,740 So as not to cause the pain or death of any living being. 1059 01:26:02,824 --> 01:26:04,784 "I like long walks. 1060 01:26:05,743 --> 01:26:08,705 Especially when they're taken by people who annoy me." 1061 01:26:13,334 --> 01:26:15,128 [both] Noël Coward. 1062 01:26:20,967 --> 01:26:23,636 -Guess what. -Hyderabad? 1063 01:26:23,720 --> 01:26:27,432 I was coming back on a coach, luxury class, of course. 1064 01:26:27,515 --> 01:26:30,852 This sex bomb was in the seat next to me. 1065 01:26:30,935 --> 01:26:32,687 Male or female? 1066 01:26:34,189 --> 01:26:38,193 She fell asleep with her head on my shoulders so I fiddled it. 1067 01:26:39,319 --> 01:26:41,529 She pretended to stay asleep. 1068 01:26:42,280 --> 01:26:44,782 So I stuck a finger in her pussy... 1069 01:26:45,909 --> 01:26:48,703 [sniffs] ...and I smelled it. 1070 01:26:48,786 --> 01:26:50,330 Did it smell of fish? 1071 01:26:50,413 --> 01:26:54,209 It was heavenly, ra, like your grandmom's freshly cooked biryani. 1072 01:26:54,292 --> 01:26:57,503 -Veg or non-veg? -Did you fuck her? 1073 01:26:58,880 --> 01:27:01,299 [Brian reads question] 1074 01:27:07,305 --> 01:27:09,974 -Welcome, Bangalore. -[cheering] 1075 01:27:10,058 --> 01:27:14,938 Welcome to the finals of the Annual Sagaya Mary Memorial Quiz. 1076 01:27:16,648 --> 01:27:20,860 Now, before we begin this event, let me inform you about 1077 01:27:20,944 --> 01:27:27,367 certain shameful shenanigans at the Quiz Superstars event held in Calcutta. 1078 01:27:27,450 --> 01:27:31,162 Upset at being beaten by a superior team, 1079 01:27:31,246 --> 01:27:37,252 the Bangalore team abused our hospitality and ran up a bill of 4,000 rupees, 1080 01:27:37,335 --> 01:27:41,589 including two bottles of single malt. 1081 01:27:41,673 --> 01:27:44,968 [cheers and applause] 1082 01:27:45,718 --> 01:27:48,179 [Brian] So this is for you, Naman Bala. 1083 01:27:48,263 --> 01:27:54,936 You and your entire team are henceforth banned from this quiz. 1084 01:27:55,687 --> 01:28:00,984 If I had my way, from every other quiz. 1085 01:28:01,985 --> 01:28:06,572 Please leave the hall. Now! 1086 01:28:09,075 --> 01:28:10,702 Now. 1087 01:28:10,785 --> 01:28:14,789 Will the other finalists please come up on stage? 1088 01:28:17,333 --> 01:28:19,043 What the hell are you doing, Naman? 1089 01:28:20,044 --> 01:28:23,214 If this is your apology, then you're too late for it, trust me. 1090 01:28:25,675 --> 01:28:27,343 [man] Give him a chance, man. 1091 01:28:29,178 --> 01:28:31,222 [quietly] There is a word... 1092 01:28:31,806 --> 01:28:33,057 [microphone feedback] 1093 01:28:33,141 --> 01:28:37,854 There is a word in the English language, derived from the Latin, of course, 1094 01:28:37,937 --> 01:28:41,733 that is an expression of contrition. 1095 01:28:44,235 --> 01:28:45,695 I have committed an offense. 1096 01:28:46,988 --> 01:28:51,993 And perception of that offense can compound over time... 1097 01:28:52,994 --> 01:28:54,829 otherwise known as compounding remorse. 1098 01:28:56,080 --> 01:28:59,417 What I am doing here is to compunctulate. 1099 01:29:00,626 --> 01:29:03,671 No, to recompunctulate. 1100 01:29:18,644 --> 01:29:21,022 -I have decided. -What? 1101 01:29:21,105 --> 01:29:23,441 I'll marry Ash and make an honest woman out of her. 1102 01:29:23,524 --> 01:29:25,443 Where did that come from? 1103 01:29:25,526 --> 01:29:27,904 If you're looking for context, young apprentice, 1104 01:29:27,987 --> 01:29:31,407 the events of the last few days must not have escaped your notice. 1105 01:29:31,491 --> 01:29:32,909 She is Brahman. 1106 01:29:33,951 --> 01:29:37,205 While Ramu here gets ready to get deflowered by a bull, 1107 01:29:37,288 --> 01:29:42,043 unless he's already lost his hymen to a milkman or other assorted menial help. 1108 01:29:42,126 --> 01:29:45,755 It was a bull... that broke my foot. 1109 01:29:50,510 --> 01:29:51,803 Where was I? 1110 01:29:51,886 --> 01:29:53,721 Ramu was getting fucked. 1111 01:29:54,555 --> 01:29:58,976 No, I was in Ash, but I will be once we are joined together in holy matrimony. 1112 01:29:59,060 --> 01:30:00,561 Hi, honchos. 1113 01:30:04,232 --> 01:30:06,692 Coming for alcoholic libations at the dhaba? 1114 01:30:25,002 --> 01:30:27,296 [hums] 1115 01:30:32,051 --> 01:30:38,141 ♪ Oh, show me the way to the next whiskey bar ♪ 1116 01:30:38,224 --> 01:30:40,726 [all] ♪ Oh, don't ask why ♪ 1117 01:30:40,810 --> 01:30:43,604 ♪ Oh, don't ask why ♪ 1118 01:30:43,688 --> 01:30:48,943 ♪ Show me the way to the next whiskey bar ♪ 1119 01:30:49,026 --> 01:30:51,571 ♪ Oh, don't ask why ♪ 1120 01:30:51,654 --> 01:30:54,198 ♪ Oh, don't ask why ♪ 1121 01:30:54,282 --> 01:30:59,162 ♪ For if we don't find the next whiskey bar ♪ 1122 01:30:59,245 --> 01:31:01,831 ♪ I tell you we must die ♪ 1123 01:31:01,914 --> 01:31:04,458 ♪ I tell you we must die ♪ 1124 01:31:04,542 --> 01:31:07,044 ♪ I tell you I tell you ♪ 1125 01:31:07,128 --> 01:31:09,672 ♪ I tell you we must die ♪ 1126 01:31:09,755 --> 01:31:12,300 [upbeat instrumental music plays] 1127 01:31:15,011 --> 01:31:18,264 [all humming together] 1128 01:31:19,098 --> 01:31:25,188 ♪ Oh, moon of Alabama ♪ 1129 01:31:25,271 --> 01:31:30,276 ♪ We now must say goodbye ♪ 1130 01:31:30,359 --> 01:31:36,574 ♪ We've lost our good old mama ♪ 1131 01:31:36,657 --> 01:31:41,454 ♪ And must have whiskey Oh, you know why ♪ 1132 01:31:41,537 --> 01:31:47,335 ♪ Oh, moon of Alabama ♪ 1133 01:31:47,418 --> 01:31:52,298 ♪ We now must say goodbye ♪ 1134 01:31:52,381 --> 01:31:58,721 ♪ We've lost our good old mama ♪ 1135 01:31:58,804 --> 01:32:02,850 ♪ And must have whiskey Oh, you know why ♪ 1136 01:32:09,357 --> 01:32:15,571 ♪ Well, show me the way to the next little girl ♪ 1137 01:32:15,655 --> 01:32:18,241 ♪ Oh, don't ask why ♪ 1138 01:32:18,324 --> 01:32:20,743 ♪ Oh, don't ask why ♪ 1139 01:32:20,826 --> 01:32:26,624 ♪ Just show me the way to the next little girl ♪ 1140 01:32:26,707 --> 01:32:29,335 ♪ Oh, don't ask why ♪ 1141 01:32:29,418 --> 01:32:32,046 ♪ Oh, don't ask why ♪ 1142 01:32:32,129 --> 01:32:37,677 ♪ For if we don't find the next little girl ♪ 1143 01:32:37,760 --> 01:32:40,304 ♪ I tell you we must die ♪ 1144 01:32:40,388 --> 01:32:43,057 ♪ I tell you we must die ♪ 1145 01:32:43,140 --> 01:32:48,562 ♪ I tell you, I tell you I tell you we must die ♪ 1146 01:32:53,985 --> 01:32:59,865 ♪ Oh, moon of Alabama ♪ 1147 01:32:59,949 --> 01:33:05,121 ♪ We now must say goodbye ♪ 1148 01:33:05,204 --> 01:33:11,127 ♪ We've lost our good old mama ♪ 1149 01:33:11,210 --> 01:33:16,090 ♪ And must have whiskey Oh, you know why ♪ 1150 01:33:16,173 --> 01:33:22,013 ♪ Oh, moon of Alabama ♪ 1151 01:33:22,096 --> 01:33:26,892 ♪ We now must say goodbye ♪ 1152 01:33:26,976 --> 01:33:33,316 ♪ We've lost our good old mama ♪ 1153 01:33:33,399 --> 01:33:37,403 ♪ And must have whiskey Oh, you know why ♪ 1154 01:33:39,905 --> 01:33:43,534 ["Where Did You Go?" by Dr. Jayram and Sriharikuudi] 1155 01:33:57,298 --> 01:34:01,677 -♪ Where did you go? ♪ -♪ Ah, ah ♪ 1156 01:34:01,761 --> 01:34:06,015 -♪ I don't know ♪ -♪ Ah, ah ♪ 1157 01:34:06,098 --> 01:34:09,935 -♪ I don't know ♪ -♪ Ah, ah ♪ 1158 01:34:10,019 --> 01:34:14,607 -♪ Where did you go? ♪ -♪ Ah, ah ♪ 1159 01:34:14,690 --> 01:34:19,111 -♪ I am in pain ♪ -♪ Ah, ah ♪ 1160 01:34:19,195 --> 01:34:23,366 -♪ You were in train ♪ -♪ Ah, ah ♪ 1161 01:34:23,449 --> 01:34:27,828 -♪ I am in pain ♪ -♪ Ah, ah ♪ 1162 01:34:27,912 --> 01:34:32,291 -♪ Are you in pain? ♪ -♪ Ah ♪ 1163 01:34:32,375 --> 01:34:36,629 -♪ Is this a game? ♪ -♪ Ah, ah ♪ 1164 01:34:36,712 --> 01:34:41,008 -♪ This is a shame ♪ -♪ Ah, ah ♪ 1165 01:34:41,092 --> 01:34:48,099 ♪ This is a game ♪ 1166 01:34:48,766 --> 01:34:52,812 ♪ Ah, ah, ah, ah ♪